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VEGAN! BLACK METAL! CHEF!
May. 17th, 2011 01:57 amThe joke might wear thin after a few minutes... but the recipe looks really good! And fourteen minutes of black metal. Did he seriously write and record all that?
Fucking kidneys!
Jan. 25th, 2011 10:24 amIf you love me, cook me fried chicken. If you hate me, fry me chicken thighs. Chicken thighs are revolting and gross me out. I just can't stand biting into something and finding a kidney. Or worse, biting into a fucking kidney. Kidneys store piss. They are not for eating. I don't care how deep-fried it is, nothing that has contained a chicken's lifetime worth of chicken piss is meant for human consumption! Or any other kind of piss for that matter.
When I was growing up we had a vicious outdoor cat who would attack and kill any animal smaller than itself. He would summarily leave these small mammals on the patio in front of the back door as a gift for the family. We never accepted them of course, but he never stopped trying. Usually after twenty-four hours he would give up and eat the kill himself. So in the morning we would usually find a smear of blood and a pair of disembodied rodent kidneys lying where the wee beastie had been. Seriously, he would eat them bones and all but leave the fucking kidneys! What does that tell you? That cat wasn't dumb but I refuse to let him be smarter than me. Morris the notoriously non-picky killing machine just refused to eat Mr. Field Mouse's twin piss tanks. Maybe we should all listen to what he's trying to tell us.
And I'm sure someone is probably going "But what about oral sex? You pee down there too!" And I'm sure you're not surprised to hear me say that's different. But it is. You can and should perform hygiene on your dong/cooter before cramming it down someone's throat, ensuring that they have a pleasant and piss-free experience. Kidneys DO NOTHING but store piss all day, every day. Don't tell me any amount of cleaning and cooking will get the smell out. Plus, when you're going down on someone you're generally stimulating only outer things. You're not getting the total urethra experience. If our kidneys were somehow exposed and erogenous I would have no problem with licking the outside of them to stimulate your partner. But I will not eat kidneys from a dead animal. That, sir, is where I draw the line.
When I was growing up we had a vicious outdoor cat who would attack and kill any animal smaller than itself. He would summarily leave these small mammals on the patio in front of the back door as a gift for the family. We never accepted them of course, but he never stopped trying. Usually after twenty-four hours he would give up and eat the kill himself. So in the morning we would usually find a smear of blood and a pair of disembodied rodent kidneys lying where the wee beastie had been. Seriously, he would eat them bones and all but leave the fucking kidneys! What does that tell you? That cat wasn't dumb but I refuse to let him be smarter than me. Morris the notoriously non-picky killing machine just refused to eat Mr. Field Mouse's twin piss tanks. Maybe we should all listen to what he's trying to tell us.
And I'm sure someone is probably going "But what about oral sex? You pee down there too!" And I'm sure you're not surprised to hear me say that's different. But it is. You can and should perform hygiene on your dong/cooter before cramming it down someone's throat, ensuring that they have a pleasant and piss-free experience. Kidneys DO NOTHING but store piss all day, every day. Don't tell me any amount of cleaning and cooking will get the smell out. Plus, when you're going down on someone you're generally stimulating only outer things. You're not getting the total urethra experience. If our kidneys were somehow exposed and erogenous I would have no problem with licking the outside of them to stimulate your partner. But I will not eat kidneys from a dead animal. That, sir, is where I draw the line.
Fast food musing.
Apr. 27th, 2010 03:11 am-Right now KFC is selling its chicken in pink buckets and donating fifty cents from each bucket to breast cancer research. That sounds really awesome until you realize that a bucket of KFC chicken costs, like, $25. Gee, a whole twenty five cents. Don't put yourself out or nothing there, KFC. Plus you have to consider that their chicken probably causes cancer in the first place. Anything that tastes that good would have to.
-As part of their tie-in promotion with Iron Man 2 Burger King is selling the Whiplash Whopper, named after Mickey Rourke's character in the film. It has crushed peppers, hot sauce, fried onions, and pepper jack cheese. It will make you throw up, hurts your anus, and is brought to you by Mickey Rourke.
It will make you throw up. Hurts your anus. And is brought. To you. By. Mickey Rourke.
Want one?
-As part of their tie-in promotion with Iron Man 2 Burger King is selling the Whiplash Whopper, named after Mickey Rourke's character in the film. It has crushed peppers, hot sauce, fried onions, and pepper jack cheese. It will make you throw up, hurts your anus, and is brought to you by Mickey Rourke.
It will make you throw up. Hurts your anus. And is brought. To you. By. Mickey Rourke.
Want one?
No Restful Sleep for Old Men
Mar. 12th, 2008 10:29 amI have not yet seen the movie No Country For Old Men but that didn't stop me from having nightmares about it. I dreamt that my workplace was actually some sort of police station and the film's greasy-haired villain (who I think looks like a hybrid of Steve Buscemi and the Terminator,) was systematically and robotically killing everyone. He didn't know I was there and for some reason I was sneaking around in the wake of his murder collecting keys and severed human fingers, then storing them in a safe. But when I finally had all the keys and fingers and went to get them out of the safe to make my escape, they were gone. Which means HE KNEW THAT I KNEW!!!! I thus escaped with the knowledge that he was coming after me next. Woody Harrelson made a brief appearance, but just to speak his line from the film's trailer: "Ah know he's uh psychopathic killuh..." But I guess since the trailer is all I've seen that makes sense.
I slept better even if I did wake up with my neck in pain again. After an ill-fated supper at Taco Bueno* we got home close to eight o'clock. I laid down and don't even know at what point I passed out after that. I slept the whole night through and apparently I really needed it. I feel like a new person today. Maybe the No Country For Old Men guy was symbollic of my mind and body brutally renewing themselves.
*Worst Mexican food I've ever tasted. Makes Taco Bell look like five-star dining. Ordered a chalupa-like thing that consisted of about a teaspoon of beef, a teaspon of lettuce, and then about a pound of thick, nasty, cement-like bean paste. Nachos came with something best described as cheese-flavoured glue. However, if you like bland, tasteless muck and your criteria for bland, tasteless muck is that it be shaped vaguely like a taco, then Taco Bueno just might be the restaurant for you.
I slept better even if I did wake up with my neck in pain again. After an ill-fated supper at Taco Bueno* we got home close to eight o'clock. I laid down and don't even know at what point I passed out after that. I slept the whole night through and apparently I really needed it. I feel like a new person today. Maybe the No Country For Old Men guy was symbollic of my mind and body brutally renewing themselves.
*Worst Mexican food I've ever tasted. Makes Taco Bell look like five-star dining. Ordered a chalupa-like thing that consisted of about a teaspoon of beef, a teaspon of lettuce, and then about a pound of thick, nasty, cement-like bean paste. Nachos came with something best described as cheese-flavoured glue. However, if you like bland, tasteless muck and your criteria for bland, tasteless muck is that it be shaped vaguely like a taco, then Taco Bueno just might be the restaurant for you.
The diet. Day 1.
Sep. 6th, 2006 01:38 pmI have returned from the store with many vegetables, fat-free and sugar-free condiments, and lean meat which Mel assures me she will somehow turn into food. I have faith in my beloved's alchemy, but still fear the sheer magnitude of power that must be invested to make this transmutation take place.
Shopping today has taught me so much I didn't know. How long has there been more than one kind of parsley? Cabbage seems like a bargain at fifty-nine cents a pound until you pick one up and discover that your average single head of cabbage has a density roughly equivalent to your average white dwarf star.
I forgot the avocado.
( You'd think people would know by now not to try and goad me into conversations about religion. )
Shopping today has taught me so much I didn't know. How long has there been more than one kind of parsley? Cabbage seems like a bargain at fifty-nine cents a pound until you pick one up and discover that your average single head of cabbage has a density roughly equivalent to your average white dwarf star.
I forgot the avocado.
( You'd think people would know by now not to try and goad me into conversations about religion. )
I don't really have much to write about today. I think exhaustion from the move finally caught up with Mel and I both as we both slept the bulk of the day away. When I finally woke up, I was treated to a heavenly supper of Mel's Turkey Tacos. It would be fun to spell it "turkey takos" but then anyone who speaks Japanese would think I had just eaten a turkey-flavored octopus which is something we all know can't exist. Luckily that did not happen and the turkey-flavored turkey was an excellent treat.
I haven't even been tired at work tonight which is something very unusual. Anyway, after I get off work I'm stopping to get my car its first oil change since the trip to and from Allerbammer has left it more than a little bit overdue, you might say. It's just one of several things I need to take care of. I've been so wrapped up in the dream of the new situation that I haven't wanted to take care of things which need to be taken care of... such as mailing the payment for my speeding ticket, picking up my arch supports which are ready to be picked up, and arranging a meeting with the man from Progressive insurance (insurance of the guy who wrecked my car,) who is going to take care of my medical bills for me. It sucks, it's annoying, and it gets in the way of things, but I know the sooner I take care of it all the better off I'll be.
Hey![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yaqui, do you think it would be possible to get together for that outting sometime next week?
I haven't even been tired at work tonight which is something very unusual. Anyway, after I get off work I'm stopping to get my car its first oil change since the trip to and from Allerbammer has left it more than a little bit overdue, you might say. It's just one of several things I need to take care of. I've been so wrapped up in the dream of the new situation that I haven't wanted to take care of things which need to be taken care of... such as mailing the payment for my speeding ticket, picking up my arch supports which are ready to be picked up, and arranging a meeting with the man from Progressive insurance (insurance of the guy who wrecked my car,) who is going to take care of my medical bills for me. It sucks, it's annoying, and it gets in the way of things, but I know the sooner I take care of it all the better off I'll be.
Hey
yaqui, do you think it would be possible to get together for that outting sometime next week?
