uberreiniger: (Tilda 'T' (samarainthewell))
So I figure if every girl on LJ can have 500 icons of Alan Rickman or Jason Isaacs, I can have a couple of Tilda Swinton. I particularly like this one where it looks like she's about to star in a biopic about David Bowie.
uberreiniger: (River swallowed a bug (desoto_hia873))
Feels like there's a lot to update on, but it's late in the day and I feel like going to bed so I'll be brief. Friday night was my mom's play and it went surprisingly well given all the obstacles they've had. I was expecting a rather standard British parlor mystery and instead was treated to very engaging morality piece in the tradition of the best classic Twilight Zone episodes. It's called An Inspector Calls by J.B. Priestly and if you ever get a chance to see it performed, I suggest you do so.

Saturday's efforts mostly centered around dolling me up for tommorrow's interview. (*Cue Shatner voice* Nerves... can't stop twitching! Bowels... working... too well!) Got a whip-smart professional haircut and found a thirty-four dollar dress shirt on sale for fifteen. YaY! I decided to go ahead and wear the suit I have. If they don't like it... well, they're not gonna say they don't like it, so I won't know. But I think it looks nice and gets the job done so we'll see how it goes. I didn't feel like doing much more shopping after buying the shirt anyway. It was one of those deals where I kept switching lines at the cash register because the others were flowing and the one I was in wasn't moving, only to have the line I moved to stop moving as the person in front of me decided to apply for a store credit card, haggle over a mismarked tag, etc. Particularly wearisome was the woman and her teenaged daughter who looked like they could have been sisters. She was quite the Action MILF, but lo and behold she left her store credit card in St. Josepth, MO where she lives and was all in lather because she wasn't able to use it and get that fifteen percent off on Daughter Dear's pile-o-sweaters. You try spending fifteen minutes standing behind Action MILF and Daughter Dear because you want to buy one lousy shirt and see if YOU feel like looking for a matching suit!

Sunday was a fatass barbecue at [livejournal.com profile] megiloth's; the perfect opprotunity to feed my fat ass! In attendance were [livejournal.com profile] yaqui, [livejournal.com profile] thanis_bloodsto, [livejournal.com profile] adonijah74, [livejournal.com profile] greenwavedave, [livejournal.com profile] pinkfaeriestars, and some other non-LJ users whom I didn't recognize. Der Uberreiniger had to hold in the bulk of his usual obscenities due to the presence of someone's teenaged daughter, but the day still held entertainment enough. Yes, the KC Chief's loss against Buffalo was so terrible that it actually was really entertaining. It's sad when your team gets beat so bad that the high point of the game is using TiVo to watch a husky stadium security guard get wiped out by sliding touchdown again and again and again.

After commesting much meat and charming the party goers with my inimicable personality I went to [livejournal.com profile] kakita_shisumo's for gaming. After much bloody combat the last two sessions this game our characters went to a sexy shinding. It was turning out to be a lahv-ley pah-tay until my character went and began delivering prophecies of destruction and great plague. Worst of all, I think that chick liked me. She was made of stone and probably had a lot of miles on her, but damn, she had a sexy husky voice. Oh well, easy come, easy go.

This morning consisted of me getting fucked over by me ex-bank, but I'll spare the boring details on that. I will say this. It's interesting how every single ATM transaction I've ever made while at that bank has credited to my account instantly; the moment the bank opens the next morning at the latest. Yet suddenly, when I empty my account, ATM transactions "may take 1-3 business days" and I'm sucking overdraft charges like they were buttermilk.

After that I think it is definately time to go to bed. The sooner I do, the sooner tomorrow comes. The sooner tomorrow comes, the sooner the damned interview gets over with.
uberreiniger: (molotov kicktease (aikon))
I am amazed at the sight I have just seen. A block from my house I turned up the street I saw coming toward me an adorable young boy - couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 years old - zipping merrily down the sloping street on his cute lil bike with training wheels and wearing his bright green helmet. And... alongside him... came the MILF to which he presumably belonged.

To say that the MILF jogged would not do justice to the spectacle. To say she "ran" would not be false, but it would create a far oversimplified impression of what exactly happened. This MILF ran, alright, but not like any human being I've ever seen run. It was a thing of grace and horror. Her mighty shorts-clad legs bounded in massive strides easily the length of three bike-riding preschoolers such that her son - who was comprised of only one bike-riding preschooler - was hard pressed to keep up. Her stick-like arms which terminated in cruelly-clenched bony fists hammered up and down in the defenseless morning air like the furious pistons of a massive steam locomotive! Her smartly-styled brown hair which veritably screamed "I am still young and cute!" billowed behind her like the mane of a fearsome (yet still young and cute,) predator. But her eyes... those tiny, hawklike eyes which focused through her round, thin-rimmed glasses on some narrow point in the distance, those were eyes to strike fear into mens' souls. Hardened combat veterans have those eyes. All in all, this woman looked like she should be wearing a colorful bodysuit and a cape with a word balloon bearing the legend "I'LL SAVE YOU!" projecting from her mouth while some masked, heavily-mutated evil genius rained imminent destruction down on hapless innocents. I still wonder why those mighty strides did not crack the pavement with each spine-shuddering footfall. Were Eddie Izzard describing this scene, he would say that this was most certainly not MILF executive. This was MILF actione.

Seriously, this was just the strangest thing I've seen in a long time. It was like watching the Six Million Dollar Man run only in very fast motion instead of annoyingly slow. This was a woman with murder in her eyes. I can only assume that the little boy pedaling furiously alongside her was her son. Alas, if I see her later today lying in the sun with a distended stomach and bloody jowls, then I will know for sure.

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July 2015

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