ACTION MILF!!!!
Sep. 26th, 2005 09:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
uberreinigerI am amazed at the sight I have just seen. A block from my house I turned up the street I saw coming toward me an adorable young boy - couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 years old - zipping merrily down the sloping street on his cute lil bike with training wheels and wearing his bright green helmet. And... alongside him... came the MILF to which he presumably belonged.
To say that the MILF jogged would not do justice to the spectacle. To say she "ran" would not be false, but it would create a far oversimplified impression of what exactly happened. This MILF ran, alright, but not like any human being I've ever seen run. It was a thing of grace and horror. Her mighty shorts-clad legs bounded in massive strides easily the length of three bike-riding preschoolers such that her son - who was comprised of only one bike-riding preschooler - was hard pressed to keep up. Her stick-like arms which terminated in cruelly-clenched bony fists hammered up and down in the defenseless morning air like the furious pistons of a massive steam locomotive! Her smartly-styled brown hair which veritably screamed "I am still young and cute!" billowed behind her like the mane of a fearsome (yet still young and cute,) predator. But her eyes... those tiny, hawklike eyes which focused through her round, thin-rimmed glasses on some narrow point in the distance, those were eyes to strike fear into mens' souls. Hardened combat veterans have those eyes. All in all, this woman looked like she should be wearing a colorful bodysuit and a cape with a word balloon bearing the legend "I'LL SAVE YOU!" projecting from her mouth while some masked, heavily-mutated evil genius rained imminent destruction down on hapless innocents. I still wonder why those mighty strides did not crack the pavement with each spine-shuddering footfall. Were Eddie Izzard describing this scene, he would say that this was most certainly not MILF executive. This was MILF actione.
Seriously, this was just the strangest thing I've seen in a long time. It was like watching the Six Million Dollar Man run only in very fast motion instead of annoyingly slow. This was a woman with murder in her eyes. I can only assume that the little boy pedaling furiously alongside her was her son. Alas, if I see her later today lying in the sun with a distended stomach and bloody jowls, then I will know for sure.
To say that the MILF jogged would not do justice to the spectacle. To say she "ran" would not be false, but it would create a far oversimplified impression of what exactly happened. This MILF ran, alright, but not like any human being I've ever seen run. It was a thing of grace and horror. Her mighty shorts-clad legs bounded in massive strides easily the length of three bike-riding preschoolers such that her son - who was comprised of only one bike-riding preschooler - was hard pressed to keep up. Her stick-like arms which terminated in cruelly-clenched bony fists hammered up and down in the defenseless morning air like the furious pistons of a massive steam locomotive! Her smartly-styled brown hair which veritably screamed "I am still young and cute!" billowed behind her like the mane of a fearsome (yet still young and cute,) predator. But her eyes... those tiny, hawklike eyes which focused through her round, thin-rimmed glasses on some narrow point in the distance, those were eyes to strike fear into mens' souls. Hardened combat veterans have those eyes. All in all, this woman looked like she should be wearing a colorful bodysuit and a cape with a word balloon bearing the legend "I'LL SAVE YOU!" projecting from her mouth while some masked, heavily-mutated evil genius rained imminent destruction down on hapless innocents. I still wonder why those mighty strides did not crack the pavement with each spine-shuddering footfall. Were Eddie Izzard describing this scene, he would say that this was most certainly not MILF executive. This was MILF actione.
Seriously, this was just the strangest thing I've seen in a long time. It was like watching the Six Million Dollar Man run only in very fast motion instead of annoyingly slow. This was a woman with murder in her eyes. I can only assume that the little boy pedaling furiously alongside her was her son. Alas, if I see her later today lying in the sun with a distended stomach and bloody jowls, then I will know for sure.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-26 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-28 08:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 09:17 pm (UTC)ok that made me lol ...but then i played volleyball last night (hurt myself...DOH) only had four hours of interrupted sleep last night and the infant that evidently doesn't know what the hell she wants today, wouldn't let me take a nap...i'd have given anything to have the energy that MILF has, ha ha.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-28 08:45 am (UTC)