LJ, can you Paypal back my innocence please?

Alright, so now that I have the tools of a paid account LJ member at my disposal I thought I'd finally do a search by region and find out who LJ's in Kansas City and perhaps meet some nice single girls in my area. Clicking on completely random female-sounding names I have found three lesbians and some...thing claiming to be a 14 year-old Catholic-Hindu who's dropped out of school and who claims she's married. No thanks. Not my cup of battery acid there, and in the case of the lesbians, I imagine I'm not quite their cup of battery acid either. Moral of the story? I need to quit drinking battery acid, (probably stunting my growth anyway,) and go out and meet women the regular way. Whatever that is.