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uberreinigerWords to live by:
Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining.
Don't put on a condom unless you're ready to fuck.
Don't let your Attack Power write checks that your Hit Points can't cover.
Don't eat a bag of Cheetos while watching a porn movie and then act surprised when you see your penis is orange.
And last but not least, the classic:
The guy on top's not gay. he's just having sex.
Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining.
Don't put on a condom unless you're ready to fuck.
Don't let your Attack Power write checks that your Hit Points can't cover.
Don't eat a bag of Cheetos while watching a porn movie and then act surprised when you see your penis is orange.
And last but not least, the classic:
The guy on top's not gay. he's just having sex.
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 05:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 06:48 am (UTC)Also, remember: Liter pop bottles are dangerous! I mean, you look at the mouth of a 20oz. pop bottle and you think, "There's no WAY I can get my penis in there." But a Liter bottle.....
no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 07:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 07:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 07:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 07:43 am (UTC)Making Shit Up
Date: 2004-09-29 08:50 am (UTC)Yay, quotes
Date: 2004-09-29 08:53 am (UTC)When the quotes are originals from drunk (or sober) friends, it is even better.
Girl 1: My snatch hurts.
Girl 2: Pull up your pants and go back to bed!
Girl 3: It's not like you picked him. You walked out of the hotel room and he was just there in the hall!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 08:57 am (UTC)Re: Yay, quotes
Date: 2004-09-29 09:00 am (UTC)Reminds me of something I heard on "Loveline" once...
Guy: My girlfriend says it hurts when we have sex.
Adam Corolla: Are you taking her underwear off first?
Re: Making Shit Up
Date: 2004-09-29 09:19 am (UTC)Re: Making Shit Up
Date: 2004-09-29 10:01 am (UTC)Thank goodness you don't have my address. That is just plain unsanitary! :) Glue? You should tape it on there to prevent staining my precious self. I guess since you won't be reusing this device, glue will suffice. And this would be your only chance to cum on my face and tits, so do what you have to do.
Re: Yay, quotes
Date: 2004-09-29 10:04 am (UTC)By "had me going", I don't mean sexually. He's probably never touched a woman's bresteses! What woman wants that?
POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 11:40 am (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 11:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 01:07 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 01:12 pm (UTC)i had a friend in HS that volunteered at the local hospital in the summer and she said that i wouldnt believe how many people came in to have various bottles removed from their asses because the suction would sometimes be too great when they went to pull it out and they'd panic. imagine trying to find some sort of coat or garment to cover up the "condition" while trying to get to the ER.
Re: Making Shit Up
Date: 2004-09-29 06:43 pm (UTC)I just say "HuzzaH!" a lot. Partly because I'm all about the Ren Fest, partly due to an episode of MST3K (Mystery Science Theatre 3000) where it was a running joke.
Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 06:45 pm (UTC)Re: Yay, quotes
Date: 2004-09-29 06:49 pm (UTC)*ahem* Yes! Loveline! It was a great show. Another classic: the woman who used her vibrator so much that she was desensitized and couldn't cum with a real man. Adam's dissertation: "Well... (with the vibrator) your clitoris is moving faster than a humming bird's wing! It's like a mule wagon tryin' to keep up with a monorail..."
Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 06:51 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 06:52 pm (UTC)Re: Yay, quotes
Date: 2004-09-29 07:12 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 07:43 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 10:25 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 10:42 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 10:42 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-29 10:47 pm (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-30 12:24 am (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-30 12:24 am (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-30 08:32 am (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-30 10:07 am (UTC)Re: POP BOTTLES
Date: 2004-09-30 10:30 pm (UTC)BLESSING
Date: 2004-10-01 07:49 am (UTC)Re: BLESSING
Date: 2004-10-01 07:53 am (UTC)Re: BLESSING
Date: 2004-10-01 09:39 am (UTC)