My rainy day craft box

Those generic Best Choice three liters. They're the way to go. And a stick of butter. A Jena Jameson movie helps, but in a pinch (no pun intended,) I can make due with Jasmine St. Clair.

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rustie25.livejournal.com

Wow. Thats a little too much information :)

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In that case I'm glad I didn't say anything about that video I have of you eating a popsicle... Oh shit... D'oh!

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stitchedsutures.livejournal.com

dude... i actually have a friend from college who did this. secretly filmed a female coworker eating a phallic popsicle.

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rustie25.livejournal.com

tell me more tell me more :) I would eat a popsicle for you anytime baby.

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It scares me that you've actually given thought to this.

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I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I told you I just make these things up off the top of my head?

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I'll believe you simply because I want to.

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If that makes you happy... Mwuhahahaha...

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Awe, now that's no fun. I was excited (no pun intended) about this string of comments and the post until that comment!!

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Just for that I'm buying a soda bottle, gluing your photograph on it, and mailing it to you when I'm done! So there! HuzzaH!

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Okay, but what is all this "HuzzaH!" crap - did I miss a mind-blowing movie or show or something. I feel out of the loop!

Thank goodness you don't have my address. That is just plain unsanitary! :) Glue? You should tape it on there to prevent staining my precious self. I guess since you won't be reusing this device, glue will suffice. And this would be your only chance to cum on my face and tits, so do what you have to do.

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Of course! Packing tape. What was I thinking?

I just say "HuzzaH!" a lot. Partly because I'm all about the Ren Fest, partly due to an episode of MST3K (Mystery Science Theatre 3000) where it was a running joke.

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All this talk about pop bottles got me thinking. What if someone stuck their naughty-nub into an almost full botttle, as they became aroused, it became too large to release and in a panic to get loose,they shook the bottle too much. All that carbonation, what do you suppose would happen? I can just see it now...naked man running around screaming, arms flaying, with a pop bottle bouncing between his legs.

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By the way...nice to meet ya

uberreiniger. I shall call him "UBE" (you-bee) and he shall be my pet!

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There's a certain someone who might take issue with the "pet" part, but you can call me UBE all you want to :D

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Yep. I guess I need to collar and tag you.

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Okay, but if I see a branding iron, I'm outta here!

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Sorry, I'm not that kinky.

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That's okay. You're kinky enough just the way you are ;)

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Sorry about the "pet" part, just thinking of 'Finding Nemo' when Dory says(to the tiny jellyfish) "I shall him squishy...and he shall be my pet" or something like that. Yes, I think I will call you "UBE" as the entire name is difficult, how do you say that? (oo-bur-rain-i-gare-an)

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Close! It's technically oo-bur-REIN-i-gare-an, not oo-bur-RAIN-i-gare-an. But you got five out of six syllables correct, more than a passing grade. Ergo, you may stay with my blessing :)

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Thanks, most people don't want me to stay, yet alone, give me their blessing...is this a three times three times three blessing or just an "untill we get fed up with you blessing"?:)

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More like a "go forth and make disciples of all nations in my name," blessing ;)

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Awesome, that is the best blessing. There may a problem with the whole "go forth" and "make disciples" and "of all nations" part,I'm not sure I'd be the best candidate. Have you read my post? kind of hard to take me seriously, but then again, if He called me to do so, who am I to argue with His omniscience? Also, I believe He has a sense of humor, is my existence not proof enough, no?

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If he doesn't have a sense of humor then we're in a HUGE theological quagmire because someone else would've had to have created me :)

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Well said, I concur. I can only imagine the plethora of ramifications that would ensue over acceptance of such a belief.Thank God, God is God. The I AM, for He is everything and nothing "is" without Him. All things were created by Him and for Him.

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stitchedsutures.livejournal.com

that is great:D

i had a friend in HS that volunteered at the local hospital in the summer and she said that i wouldnt believe how many people came in to have various bottles removed from their asses because the suction would sometimes be too great when they went to pull it out and they'd panic. imagine trying to find some sort of coat or garment to cover up the "condition" while trying to get to the ER.

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Kind of like that urban legend about the two gay guys who stumble into the ER, one with his fist up ther other's ass and is afraid to pull his arm out because his wedding ring is about to come off...

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Maybe they could cover it by throwing on a wig,some make-up, and a dress(if said items were near). And if anyone said anything on the way in, he could be like..." I'm having a baby, can't you see it's about to drop!"

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I'm sure it's been done. Heard once of a guy who put a five pound barbell weight over his penis, then got a hard on and couldn't get it off, and couldn't get rid of the hard on because the weight had cut off his circulation... *shudder*

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You probably could have guessed (from my recent posts) that I love quotes like this. You just made me smile!

When the quotes are originals from drunk (or sober) friends, it is even better.

Girl 1: My snatch hurts.
Girl 2: Pull up your pants and go back to bed!

Girl 3: It's not like you picked him. You walked out of the hotel room and he was just there in the hall!

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Girl 1: My snatch hurts.

Reminds me of something I heard on "Loveline" once...

Guy: My girlfriend says it hurts when we have sex.
Adam Corolla: Are you taking her underwear off first?

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Oh, how I miss watching that show. I don't remember names, but the stuck up guy had me going because he was so "this is how you do it", instead of "hell yeah, you people are telling me your sex lives!" That is exactly what I would have said to all the guests or maybe, "Ha, and you need ME to help you? Good luck!"

By "had me going", I don't mean sexually. He's probably never touched a woman's bresteses! What woman wants that?

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Dear Jesu... you are only the second person I've ever met in my life who uses the word "bresteses." If you knew the first one, you'd see why this is so eerie for me...

*ahem* Yes! Loveline! It was a great show. Another classic: the woman who used her vibrator so much that she was desensitized and couldn't cum with a real man. Adam's dissertation: "Well... (with the vibrator) your clitoris is moving faster than a humming bird's wing! It's like a mule wagon tryin' to keep up with a monorail..."

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