My rainy day craft box

U.S. move to cheaper Chinese condoms threatens American jobs.

Notice that twice in the article the author takes it upon himself to refer to the American condoms as "AIDS-preventing." That makes me imagine condoms in foil wrappers emblazoned with the American flag sporting starburst slogans of "AIDS-PREVENTING!" and "MADE IN AMERICA!"

Wait... apparently that's not what's on the wrapper after all:

"Condoms from those companies will likely carry the USAID logo — two hands shaking over red and white bunting."

Maybe it's USAID's subtle way of saying that instead of having sexual intercourse using these risky condoms you should settle for an "adult handshake" instead?

Also since I'm assuming since these condoms are for distribution to impoverished countries that they are utilitarian in nature, i.e. no studs, spirals, or ribs for the pleasure of all parties involved. Too bad. Otherwise you'd have a killer headline in the form of "Stimulus Package Threatens Stimulation of Packages."

In all seriousness, this is bad news given the fact that the low-bid Chinese condoms have such a poor track record. Why even BOTHER passing these out as aid to impoverished people if they don't work? The media's been awfully hard on Pope Benedict the last few days about his thoughts on condom usage in AIDS-ridden parts of Africa. But damn, if this is the way things are going maybe the old coot is onto something.

So lets fire some hardworking Americans, give peasants condoms that don't work, and do it all through a front company to cover our own asses just to save a lousy THREE CENTS per rubber. Nice to know that we don't let little things like charity work and preventing unemployment get in the way of good old-fashioned American capitalism.