(no subject)

[uberreiniger]

U.S. move to cheaper Chinese condoms threatens American jobs.

Notice that twice in the article the author takes it upon himself to refer to the American condoms as "AIDS-preventing." That makes me imagine condoms in foil wrappers emblazoned with the American flag sporting starburst slogans of "AIDS-PREVENTING!" and "MADE IN AMERICA!"

Wait... apparently that's not what's on the wrapper after all:

"Condoms from those companies will likely carry the USAID logo — two hands shaking over red and white bunting."

Maybe it's USAID's subtle way of saying that instead of having sexual intercourse using these risky condoms you should settle for an "adult handshake" instead?

Also since I'm assuming since these condoms are for distribution to impoverished countries that they are utilitarian in nature, i.e. no studs, spirals, or ribs for the pleasure of all parties involved. Too bad. Otherwise you'd have a killer headline in the form of "Stimulus Package Threatens Stimulation of Packages."

In all seriousness, this is bad news given the fact that the low-bid Chinese condoms have such a poor track record. Why even BOTHER passing these out as aid to impoverished people if they don't work? The media's been awfully hard on Pope Benedict the last few days about his thoughts on condom usage in AIDS-ridden parts of Africa. But damn, if this is the way things are going maybe the old coot is onto something.

So lets fire some hardworking Americans, give peasants condoms that don't work, and do it all through a front company to cover our own asses just to save a lousy THREE CENTS per rubber. Nice to know that we don't let little things like charity work and preventing unemployment get in the way of good old-fashioned American capitalism.

Comments

[solandra.livejournal.com]

I think I've only had a condom break once or twice. Out of like.. a million times. Even the cheap ones are better than nothing, but they should be handing out Trojan Ultra Thins with their super-lube. Then people would be all over those, those are great.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the Trojans would cost a whopping seven cents each... TOTALLY out of the budget. And I don't want to think about what the Magnums would run...

[fadedsecret.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered WHY they chose the name "Trojan". Obviously, historically, the Greeks got THROUGH the wall at Troy via the Trojan horse.

[solandra.livejournal.com]

LOL! The only ones that have ever broken on my were Lifestyles. I can't think of any funny innuendo for that though.

[fadedsecret.livejournal.com]

Instead of innuendo it's more like a new slogan:

"Lifestyles....you're about to change yours."

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of the graffiti I saw scrawled on a men's room condom dispenser recently: "For refund please insert baby."

[lucretiasheart.livejournal.com]

*snorts in amusement*

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Stay classy, Americhina.

[nightshade-7976.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't say I'm suprised. Of course, maybe they WILL work. With all the defective shit coming out of China anymore, maybe once they put these cheap ass condoms on, their dick will fall off.

[lucretiasheart.livejournal.com]

This > "Stimulus Package Threatens Stimulation of Packages" Priceless!

Meanwhile, the actual story is pathetic to the extreme, 3 cents per condom is all it takes to save American jobs and have high quality protection for poor people in developing countries? WHO THE FUCK WOULD ACTUALLY DO THAT?! I mean, don't these people realize their cost-cutting is pretty much-- evil?

*head desk*

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

What's funny is that last night I saw a TV commercial for Trojan condoms featuring a bald eagle in front of an American flag. It was promoting their condom variety pack, calling it their "stimulus package." I'll be checking the wrappers to see where they're made though.

This whole thing is really sad though. I can't think of a better example of the sheer absurdity of economics as we practice them.

[lucretiasheart.livejournal.com]

It's all about the few exploiting the many for themselves.

And right now is a BAAAD time to continue this sort of thing, the masses is gettin' plenty pissed.

Newsweek's cover this week was all about "POPULIST RAGE" and that rag's not exactly known for being full of deep insight. Comedians are talking about torches and pitchforks. The military is staging drills in small towns and large cities across the U.S.

You'd think anyone with an ounce of sense would make a more generous decision on this sort of thing...