Thankfullness

This week in America we celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving. As you may know, Thanksgiving commemorates a surly, suspicious, isolationist cult who fled their homeland due to religious persecution, because like all insular, abusive religious totalitarians everywhere they could dish it but they couldn't take it. They got to America and promptly almost died because they had been so busy telling other people how to live that they picked up absolutely no life skills of their own. Luckily for them, some magical Native Americans wandered by and took pity on them and hooked them up with some food. And so we reflect on the Native American with his practicality and generosity and the Puritan with his humility and austerity and raise a middle finger to them both by engaging in a bacchanalia of gluttony and sloth.

Nevertheless, as my wife and I spend our first Thanksgiving in a new home, I am thankful. I am thankful for my parents and their generosity in letting us live at their house during a time that was long and difficult for us all.

However, now that I am out of that house I am also very thankful for the following:
-Being able to park my car in the driveway and not having to drive around the block before I park.
-A brand new stove whose oven door handle I don't have to delicately grasp just so to prevent it from falling off when I open it.
-Privacy
-Two toilets, both of which are set to "kill" as opposed to "stun."

Happy feasting one and all!