My latest story has been published!

Above his the cover artwork for my latest short story. It has been released as a special treat at a special price ($1) in celebration of Dark Roast Press's third anniversary.

After I finished Apocalypse Woman I decided I wanted to reveal more of how the delightful libertine Brisins got to be the way she was, as well as provide some insight into where she feels she might be going. Since she's not shy when talking about such matters, I decided the best way was to let Brisins tell you in her own words. Hear her out and I think you'll not be disappointed.

Of course, I really should warn you that this story is intended for readers 18+. It is available for purchase here.

Amon Amarth at the Granada, 4/16

I have been meaning to write this entry for two days but have just been too tired. This past Saturday night my two month blitz of concert-going slammed to its epic conclusion with a huge treat: a chance to see my Viking metal heroes Amon Amarth.

Surprisingly, I've had a hard time coming up with stuff to say about this show. For one thing, Amon Amarth totally delivered from start to finish. For another, there were no opening acts. It was just Amon Amarth performing two full-length sets. But since one cannot see a band one has longed to see for years and just not talk about it, I will do my best.

megiloth and I made an uneventful drive to Lawrence, KS during which he shared with me Stryper's new album of covers of classic metal songs. (More on that later.) We arrived at the Granada right before doors were set to open and... Wow. I think the last time I saw a crowd that big for a show there was for Type O Negative three or four years ago. Amon Amarth are a big deal apparently. This makes me happy but I don't think they'll be able to play at the Granada much longer. It just won't hold the crowd.

Despite being at the back of the line we nevertheless managed to get near the front. I am a tall gentleman and how the five people in any given hall who are taller than me always find me and decide to stand directly in front of me I will never know. Fortunately Amon Amarth are tall fellows of Swedish descent and I had no problem seeing them. Especially vocalist Johann Hegg whose stature could impress one of the Norse deities he sings about.

To my sorrow, the band did not take to the stage in a Viking longboat as they have been known to do. But then again the Granada's stage is not very deep. I mean, if it could not contain the very petite Zoe Jakes how is it going to hold an entire Viking longboat? Anyway, Amon Amarth's set consisted of their new album Surtur Rising played in its entirety. For those of you taking notes at home, Surtur is the champion of the mythical fire giants who, in a scenario eerily evocative of nuclear holocaust, is prophesied to exterminate nearly all life on earth by means of his colossal flaming sword. The massive backdrop of Surtur wielding said sword more than made up for the absence of any boats. I do not own the new album, but damn do I want it after hearing it live. Now I understand why they call themselves Amon Amarth. (You probably know it better as "Mount Doom."): Because like the fires of Mount Doom, once you encounter what Amon Amarth produces, you wants it. It is the precious.

The second set consisted of songs spanning Amon Amarth's twenty year career. They rocked the anthems like "Twilight of the Thunder God" and "Death and Fire" and soothed us with ballads like "A Thousand Years of Oppression" and "Cry of the Black Birds." Keep in mind that their ballads are heavier than most bands' heavy songs. I just... wow. I really need to say that Amon Amarth have the best sound techs/sound set-up out there right now. It's one of the few shows where I could hear every note that was played clearly. And Johann Hegg joked at one point that it's okay to sing along even if you don't know the lyrics because no one can understand death metal lyrics anyway. But I actually did understand damn near every word he said. Then again, he does enunciate better than most death metal vocalists. As a musician I was totally absorbed by everything I saw and heard in their playing. They may be obsessed with scary Viking images of ransacking and rapine, but musically they are true professionals.

megiloth mentioned in his post that for a bunch of mean Vikings Amon Amarth were very jolly and happy on stage. Of course, Johann Hegg has admitted that actual Vikings probably wouldn't understand their music since all they had for instruments were flutes and bongos. So they definitely don't take themselves too seriously. This is one band that knows how to treat the crowd like friends and the crowd responded to that in a big way. They are also incredibly generous with their merchandise, selling their t-shirts for about $15 less than most bands. It was the first time I've been able to buy a band t-shirt in at least five years.

In closing I want to say how impressed I was at the diversity of the crowd. Quite a few women and older people (as in, my age or older,) in the crowd. And except for a stray flung beer can that sought me out as surely as the very tall men, the crowd was very respectful of one another. Mosh pits called time-outs long enough to help the fallen up off the floor and none of the many female crowd surfers got their lady bits grabbed or their clothing torn that I saw. It just makes me feel all kinds of good to see that the metal scene is becoming a community in the true sense rather than merely a shared affectation of a certain type of dysfunctional young male.

There are no concerts on the horizon for the foreseeable future. This may be a good thing. These aging bones need a rest.

Uberreiniger in "Fun With Stryper!"

As I mentioned in my last post Stryper have released an album of cover songs. Since megiloth kindly let me listen to the whole thing I am going to make you read how I feel about.

First, a little history. Stryper are a band whose lasting musical legacy will be that they have caused the following dialogue to take place millions of times around the world:

Person #1: I listen to Christian metal.
Person #2: Oh, you mean like Stryper?
Person #1: No. Not like Stryper.

Stryper derive their name from the Bible verse Isaiah 53:5 which Christians interpret as a prophecy of Christ's torture at the hands of the Romans, specifically the "stripes" received from scourging. Early in their career, Stryper got rather expressionistic with their interpretation of these wounds, covering themselves, their instruments, and their stage sets with yellow and black stripes. Now I'll be the first to admit that I loved Stryper's image, the "yellow and black attack" as it was called. I just never saw what it had to do with Christ's wounds. Perhaps the Isaiah verse was just a happy coincidence that sort of lined up with Stryper being science fiction warriors from the future.

Fun trivia: the only other band I know of from the 80's who tried to pass themselves off as science fiction warriors from the future were Queensryche. Queensryche eventually dropped the act and went on to record the greatest rock opera since the time when Roger Waters decided to tell the world about a teacher he had as a child who was very aggressive in his promotion of a diet rich in animal proteins.

Stryper dropped the act and went on to record Against the Law.

Since then Stryper have wisely put the the yellow and black back on and returned to their solidly rocking roots. (Queensryche, pay attention. You could learn a thing or two here.) But then they had to go and release The Covering. Okay, I'm being hard on them because it's not bad. It's very competent. But... I didn't find it noteworthy either.

Imagine you are running late for a birthday party for a friend and you haven't bought them a gift yet. In a panic, you stop at Wal-Mart and find a $5 compilation cd of "Hard Rockin' Hits of the 80's." Knowing your friend likes this kind of music, you praise your unbelievable luck at finding this even though you know nothing of this style of music yourself. So you hurriedly scrape off the $5 sticker and present it to them, waiting to see their eyes light up.

But something's wrong. In an effort to keep the cost of royalties low and pass the savings on to you, these are not the original recordings by the original artist. They are covers by a competent but otherwise unmemorable group of session musicians. Take one of these cd's (which do exist by the way. I've seen them,) triple the price, and you have Stryper's The Covering.

When you record and release a cover song I feel like you should at least try to bring something different to it. It doesn't have to be anything as drastic as turning a Slayer song into a haunting, eerie piano ballad. or reinterpreting Metallica through the lens of wimpy dance pop. But at least make some kind of effort to make the song your own. Stryper don't even sound like Stryper on this album. They sound like any one of a thousand cover bands you could hear in a thousand bars playing songs you've heard covered a thousand times before. Iron Maiden's "The Trooper"? Gee, that's original. Why doesn't somebody cover "Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" every once in a while? Oh goodie, Kansas' "Carry On Wayward Son." Well I guess I should be grateful it wasn't "Dust in the Wind."

I have taken a lot of time and energy here to say that I expected better, Stryper. I can't help it. I just think it's a brutal irony that the band who made Jesus relevant to a generation of metalheads cannot come back twenty-some years later and do the same thing for the works of Led Zeppelin and Judas Priest.