This is colostomy as I want you to get.

You remember this? Yes. Of course you do. Well I guess last night after I left work this employee (whom shall forevermore be known as Biohazard,) lost control of his bowels again. And then today while I was working it happened AGAIN! At least this time there was no external seepage. At least none that I know about. Biohazard claims he has no control over that part of his body. (Remember he has spinobiffeda and who knows how many other health problems.) Well call me harsh, but I don't care. If I had something like that wrong with me you can be damn sure I would be doing everything I could to prevent this from happening! It's not like we live in a day and age where there are is a wide variety of products and apparati available to prevent this kind of thing. In fact, Biohazard WORKS IN A PLACE WHERE WE FUCKING SELL THEM!

And before anybody asks, I did point out to my boss today that this is a public health issue. (This was before this afternoon's incident. My boss had left for a meeting by then.) He just sort of of laughed it off, albeit nervously. He's not incompetant, I think he's just genuinely too nice to come down super hard about anything. Well I'm not. If it happens on my shift again I'm telling Biohazard to go home and stay there because he's too sick to work and that it creates a health risk for customers. If he wants to complain to the district and they get scared of him and fire my ass, too bad. Maybe then I'll pursue a career in nursing where at least this sort of thing is expected and you are compensated accordingly.

Flist cleanup

I feel tacky being one of "those" people who announces when they trim their friends list, but I'd rather do that then be rude and just drop people. All I've done is trim a few folks whom I haven't had time to follow like I'd hoped I would. Please no one take it personal. It doesn't mean that I don't like you, just that I don't read you. If you are one, please feel free to keep me on your list and to keep posting here if you like. If not, no hard feelings at all.

Wow... just wow.

Really more of a personal entry for me here. Some of you might know that I'm obsessed with a band called Saviour Machine. They play some of the most beautiful dark gothic music you can imagine. Musically they've been my guiding light for fifteen years now. I am not exaggerating when I say their music and words have sometimes literally been the only thing which has helped me have faith at times when I was ready to abandon it altogether.

The band is pretty much completely the brainchild of one man, Eric Clayton. He has been "working on" the band's final album for five years now. A man of few words, he's not spoken much about the reasons behind all the delays. Not having thought of them in a while, I decided to cruise over to the band's website tonight to see if anything new was happening. I found posted an interview from last August that's really left me kind of numb. Turns out the reason for the delays have been extremely severe, possibly life-threatening health problems on Mr. Clayton's part. He has Barrett's Esophagus due to 26 years of acid reflux disease. It's literally where your stomach lining begins crawling up your throat and is a precursor to esophogeal cancer. He has to get endoscopes and throat biopsies every three months.

It's left me numb for two reasons. 1) I have acid reflux. I haven't had it anywhere near as long as he has, but when I saw my doctor last month she really wanted me to get an endoscope ASAP. I guess now that I have benefits I'd better do it, huh? Especially after reading all the difficulties Clayton must now live with on account of his condition. 2) This man has one of the most beautiful, angelic, operatic voices you have ever heard. His voice can bring me to tears no matter how many times I hear it. The thought of his throat suffering permanent damage is like the loss of something priceless. I can't imagine possessing something that beautiful and literally having it erode out from beneath you.

This just stuns me. He has been a profound influence on who I am. I had the good fortune to meet him once about ten years ago and spend a few days in his company and he amazed me all over again with how kind he was. I feel like I'm watching a friend suffer. Knowing that his fate might be my future isn't helping at all.

This was really mostly just for me to get my thoughts out. I needed to. It helps.