Uberreiniger's Book Of The Month Club

[uberreiniger]

This morning while killing time at the local Barnes & Noble while waiting for the music store to open so I can purchase my bass amplifier, I'm browsing though the anthologies section when I come to what has to be the most amusing title I think I've seen in quite some time...

The Mammoth Book of Lesbian Erotica

Now, I'll admit that after much soul-searching I've come to the conclusion that I like lesbians as much as the next man and I certainly think there's nothing wrong with them having their own erotica. However, "mammoth" and "lesbian" are two words you would not normally associate with one another. The adjective mammoth being more aptly suited to other types of reference not relating to affairs of the heart e.g. The Mammoth Book of Computer Repair or the Mammoth Book Easy Macrame Projects. With that in mind, my feverish imagination started calculating how many titles the publihsers must have rejected before finally deciding that The Mammoth Book of Lesbian Erotica was the only title that would work. Ideas include....
- The Biggest Goddamn Book of Lesbian Erotica You've Ever Seen
- This Is Not Your Father's Book of Lesbian Erotica
- Steal This Book of Lesbian Erotica
- Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's Lesbian Erotica!
- THE LESBIANS WILL BRING THE EROTICA, YOU JUST BRING THAT CANDYASS!!!
- Liber Colossus Erotica Lesbos
- The Lesbonomicron
- The New Collegiate Book of Lesbian Erotica
- All I Really Need To Know I Learned From Lesbian Erotica

But my favorite rejected title that I came up with is...

-The Little Golden Book of Lesbian Erotica-

Comments

[kali-81.livejournal.com]

Get me that book for Christmas.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Actually Easter's coming up...

[kali-81.livejournal.com]

Works for me. Just make sure it's eloquently written lesbian erotica.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Just to warn you, I saw a couple in there as I was thumbing through that seemed like real turkeys. One of them, everyone's body parts were described in ocean-and-shore metaphors complete with crashing waves and sprays of salty ocean mist and the warm waters of underwater color gardesn, etc. etc. I didn't find it arousing but it did kinda make me have to urinate.

[kali-81.livejournal.com]

K, nevermind. I'll buy my own erotica.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Too late. You're getting the Mammoth Book of Lesbian Erotica for Easter. Mwuhahahaha! (Seriously, there are like, several dozen stories in there. Surely some of them have got to be hot.)

[kali-81.livejournal.com]

Fine, but they better be or I'll be disappointed!

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

If it comes to that I'll try and write you some decent ones to make up for the clunkers.

[kali-81.livejournal.com]

I don't know if that would be frightfully disturbing, or frightfully erotic. Weird.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Could be both. You never know.

[kali-81.livejournal.com]

I hope I never do. Erotica written by people I don't know is fine for me.