An actual update before going to bed.

[uberreiniger]

I am now into the 2nd week of my new job. Working 2nd shift has never agreed with me. I get off work wanting to crawl into bed every night, but my body can't make itself sleep. Then I wind up sleeping most of the day, waking up just in time to go to work. It feels very confining. But I am still very grateful to have a job after all those dreary, unemployed months.

My 2nd shift crew consists of five people. There's me, an unwed teenage mother, an unwed twentysomething mother, a lesbian of towering stature, and an affable slacker dude. I get along pretty well with all of them but don't really fit in with any of them. The two unwed moms are funny and seem to appreciate my sense of humor, but they've clicked with each other far more than they have with the rest of us. And it makes sense, they have similar interests, similar circumstances, and similar challenges in life. The affable slacker seems too off in his own world to really be interested in anyone or anything. Tall Lesbian is very friendly and good-natured, but is also very quiet. It's interesting because we seem like such a tight team when we're working together, but with the exception of the two moms' friendship, we're actually quite isolated.

What makes all this interesting is that for the first time in my life, I can tell exactly why I don't fit in. And for the first time in my life I don't really care about fitting in that much at all. There's no real sense of disappointment or alienation there as usually happens to me. Maybe it's the temporary feeling of all this. This is a temp job to help me get back on my feet and I'm very much aware that this too shall pass. Maybe it's just the novelty of being on a cohesive team at work, yet not one that has any expectation of actually being friends.

By and large I'm enjoying the work that I do. I don't feel stuck in this job as I have in the past. Now if I could just figure out how to sleep.

Comments

[donkeyjon.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you get along with all of your co-workers and that the job isn't a pain in the ass. Keep at it, you've got plenty to offer and your chance to really shine is coming.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your confidence sir. It means a lot.

[tanarii.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you are getting back on your feet xx

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Little by little. How about you?

[tanarii.livejournal.com]

They are looking up x

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a short story... of course, in my version, you'd eventually find out that you DON'T know why you don't fit in, because all of your coworkers are secretly aliens.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

I think that story's been done, but it's worth doing again.

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on the job! I know many people who are looking without success.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

It took me almost five months just to get this $7.70 an hour job. It's really bleak out there.

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

I know. I have friends and family looking for work right now.

I'm still angry that the bastards who caused all this have not been arrested, tried, and convicted. They fucked up not only our economy, but the economies of many other countries.

It's outrageous!

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

If definitive bad guys could be easily pointed out it might happen. Even if there are, they're completely obfuscated by a wall of catastrophic total system failure.

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

Oh, they can be pointed out quite clearly. It's known who made the decisions, who at the credit rating agencies falsified the rating of the CDOs, and what real estate agents and mortgage brokers engaged in unscrupulous practices.

There have been a number of experts who have investigated this massive rip-off, like the author of; "Bailout Nation."

The problem is that the men responsible are some of the wealthiest and most powerful people in the political and financial world. Does anyone honestly believe we're going to put Alan Greenspan on trial?

In Greece last year an unarmed (and apparently innocent) student was killed by a cop. The resulting riots nearly brought down the government, and caused the resignation of some high-up politicians. The cop was also prosecuted.

The American people lose untold dollars, (because it's not over yet,) and millions of jobs and homes, due to a corrupt federal government and a corrupt financial system. And they do nothing. When all you have are a few "tea party" protesters with misspelled signs they're pretty easy to ignore.

And that's been the thing that has bugged me for years. When the politics and corporations become blatantly criminal, and millions of people suffer for it, Americans do nothing. I just don't get the apathy, and probably never will.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

I don't know that the Greek situation is necessarily a fair comparison. American politics and European politics - and how the corresponding citizenry interact with them - are apples to oranges at the best of times. It's sad but it's true, the kind of earth-shaking riots that happened in Greece are not in our nature. I think our very size - both geographic and cultural - works against us. We're capable of great things when aroused, but it takes a LOT to arouse us.

[nightshade-7976.livejournal.com]

I wish I didn't care about fitting in so much...I still feel like that akward high school kid or something, dying to belong...I won't do anything for it, but I still crave that attention that I mistake for affection, I think...

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

I'm the same way, actually. It's real progress for me not to feel so much pressure about it here.

[elvinborn.livejournal.com]

I may be stupid, but what is 2nd shift?

it sounds like you at least have some characters to study if you get bored. It's good to have coworkers that you don't detest. And jobs where you don't have to be *on* all the time working to do well AND to fit in are always better. easier.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

2nd shift is generally 4pm - midnight. Although in my case it's 4pm to 1am because we have an hour lunch.

[elvinborn.livejournal.com]

I can see where that might be rough. Those are my most functional hours, but also the hours where you see other humans

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

I'm exactly the same way. It's when I'm the most awake physically and mentally, but also where 90% of my life happens to fall.

[ghaidin.livejournal.com]

congrats on getting a job in this crappy economy.
I may be off base here, but maybe as time gets by you'll feel differently about the non-fitting thing?