Each time I've talked about the impending loss of our work site since yesterday I've mentioned how I think it's interesting that it syncs up almost perfectly with my wedding. Twice now my thoughts about how it's time for change have been met with "Of Course! You're starting a family!"
Maybe it shouldn't annoy me when people say that, but it does. I am getting married. I am not "starting a family." Starting a family, to me anyway, means having children. Most certainly it carries that implication. If it doesn't, then why do we say things like "they got married AND started a family?" We may indeed have children, but why do people just assume that if you're getting married then you'll immediately be starting work on Baby #1 come the honeymoon night? It just bothers me.
On a sadder and less me-centric note, R.I.P. Syd Barret. One of rock's greatest and most tragic figures has left us. Maybe he will find peace now.
Maybe it shouldn't annoy me when people say that, but it does. I am getting married. I am not "starting a family." Starting a family, to me anyway, means having children. Most certainly it carries that implication. If it doesn't, then why do we say things like "they got married AND started a family?" We may indeed have children, but why do people just assume that if you're getting married then you'll immediately be starting work on Baby #1 come the honeymoon night? It just bothers me.
On a sadder and less me-centric note, R.I.P. Syd Barret. One of rock's greatest and most tragic figures has left us. Maybe he will find peace now.
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Date: 2006-07-11 05:55 pm (UTC)To which I always replied, "I already have children."
Them: *blink blink*
Me: "My cats will be the only children I ever have."
It IS fucking annoying when people start making assumptions and planning your life for you. I don't want kids, I don't plan on having kids. The possibility exists that I MIGHT change my mind a decade from now, but I think the possibilty is very slim.
The next time someone makes the "starting a family" reference just fucking correct them. Say "We're not pregnant, we won't be getting pregnant immediately, so no, there will be no 'starting of a family'. We're just getting married."
Then again I am just a bitch.
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Date: 2006-07-11 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 06:20 pm (UTC)I understand that it was once very unusual for couples who were married to not have children, but that isn't the case nowadays. Besides, I don't want to have children until I know I'm ready, and that means spiritually AND financially (and for me, also medically). I want to be able to provide for my children so they'll grow up well.
Apparently, all of those things are putting too much thought into the issue, although I am blessed to have parents and in-laws who aren't desperately pressuring us for children. As it is, it's still YOUR decision to make and not the rest of the world's. :)
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Date: 2006-07-11 06:24 pm (UTC)So I AM saying that's it nice to have some time with just each other too. :)
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Date: 2006-07-11 06:47 pm (UTC)I've had my parents mention how much they would love grandkids someday... and how now is the time to start "thinking ahead."
I had to ask them which they would rather hound me about: getting married or having babies... or if they wanted grandkids so badly that they no longer cared about the marriage part that they've been pestering me about since age 18.
They haven't pestered me about grandchildren since. They were married for 12 years before they had me though, so I doubt they will be pressuring me until oh, say, I hit 30. Unless of course I'm still not married by next year. Then it's off to that routine again. I have just under four mor years left. I hope I don't seriously start hating being their child in a couple years :/
For this reason, I'm starting to feel tense about their visit this weekend. Dammit all. Let me be peaceful and happy!
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Date: 2006-07-11 07:31 pm (UTC)And I don't even have a BOYFRIEND.
And what if I get a girlfriend? No babies there unless I adopt.
GOD we are not BABY MACHINES PEOPLE. Our sole purpose in life is NOT to pop out children!
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Date: 2006-07-11 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-11 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 01:24 am (UTC)I swear, when my parents used to ask me if I was getting married/considering children I would just reply "Nah. I'm just going to be the craaaazy cat lady."
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Date: 2006-07-12 01:32 am (UTC)Bwuahahaha.
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Date: 2006-07-12 01:41 am (UTC)Granted, if I ever get a HUGE house, I might up the number a little bit...but for apartment living 3 is plenty.
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Date: 2006-07-12 01:44 am (UTC)Pre-pregnant my ass. Stupid people like that are the ones doing all the reproducing, and instilling those same stupid thoughts into their children.
But don't worry...Darwin will eventually catch up to them all.
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Date: 2006-07-12 01:48 am (UTC)My boyfriend tells me to just go spend more time with my crazy tabby to realize why I don't need another kitten just yet. It's just a dream.... kittens will not really smile at you like that, Amanda.
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Date: 2006-07-12 02:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 03:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 03:17 am (UTC)Yeah. Namely in the fact that species who reproduce too much eventually starve to death. The sad thing is they're going to drag the rest of us down into their Darwinian hell hole with them.
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Date: 2006-07-12 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 03:33 am (UTC)I gave my parents a grandpuppy. and two grandkitties. and mostly a grandhorse. They are not allowed to complain. :D
actually mine are quite good about not making me feel like a complete failure at life for the not having all the babies. rock.
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Date: 2006-07-12 04:34 am (UTC)Cause that would be weird. Not surprising, just weird. :)
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Date: 2006-07-12 10:05 am (UTC)(Besides, I already have three babies. One of them is a Stratocaster, one is a Silvertone and one is a BC Rich... hehehe. ^_^)
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Date: 2006-07-12 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 01:49 pm (UTC)All my babies are B.C. Riches. They get their good looks from me :D
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Date: 2006-07-12 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-12 06:16 pm (UTC)Seriously, humans are generally too nice. If somebody says something that's really none of their business, politely clue them in. If they say it again, smack 'em down.
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Date: 2006-07-14 12:10 am (UTC)Fact is they're reproducing faster, and their minions suffer brainwashing since birth. I get this nightmarish vision of a-cerebral, identically-minded mass of lifeforms expanding and covering it all. And we all know what happens to the social host of such creatures when the guests consume all the resources. Down and done.
All the politically incorrect blabbering said, I've met a few VERY big families who were perfectly normal (or as normal as you can be when there are 10 children running around the house). It's just the ones who want to impose their way on my reproductive life that give me the wacks.
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Date: 2006-07-14 12:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-14 12:15 am (UTC)*shudder*