uberreiniger | I don't know Hanako. I hope she doesn't mind...

Stolen from Batchix who stole it from Hanako
If I were a stone, I would be: malachite
If I were a tree, I would be: birch
If I were a bird, I would be: an owl
If I were a machine, I would be: a cybernetic armored suit
If I were a tool, I would be: a hammer. Then everything would look like a nail...
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a rose
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: cloudy yet warm
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: A dragon (w/ treasure horde of course)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: A B.C. Rich Warlock guitar
If I were an animal, I would be: A wolf
If I were a color, I would be: maroon
If I were an emotion, I would be: instrospectiveness
If I were a vegetable, I would be: A pepper... cute on the outside, undigestable on the inside.
If I were a sound, I would be: An electric guitar tuned down to B
If I were an Element, I would be: water
If I were a car, I would be: a tank
If I were a song, I would be: Fear Factory's "Resurrection"
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: JK Rowling
If I were a movie, I would be: Kafka
If I were a food, I would be: General Tso
If I were a place, I would be: The British Isles
If I were a material, I would be: velvet
If I were a taste, I would be: See General Tso, above
If I were a religion, I would be: Zoroastrianism
If I were a word, I would be: 'Tis
If I were an object, I would be: Not valued as a person
If I were a body part I would be: A tongue, that I might visit other body parts that I like frequently :)
If I were a facial expression I would be: "don't-f**k-with-me"
If I were a subject in school I would be: art history
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Ashuram from Lodoss War (but not Lodoss War 2. Everything about LW2 was stupid.)
If I were a shape I would be: curvy
If I were a number I would be: 47
If I were a month I would be: October
If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday... so much potential...
If I were a time of day I would be: 11pm
If I were a direction I would be: East
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: an antique setee
If I were a sin I would be: sloth
If I were a historical figure I would be: Donatello
If I were a liquid I would be: red wine
If I were a method of death I would be: seppuku

And that's the way it is, folks. That's the way it is...