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ysathora who has heard me rant about this at length, but...
WTF is up with this movie? No, seriously. I want to know whose bright idea it was to put Rick O'Connell and Indiana Jones together in the same movie and have ABOSLUTELY NOTHING AWESOME HAPPEN. Do they fight any mummies? Do they melt any Nazis? Does Jack Ryan go with the guy from Journey to the Center of the Earth to fight terrorists... AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH? NO!!!! It is a movie that, as far as I can tell, involves nothing except them crying and hugging each other, and then comforting some adorable children with cancer who teach them how to love again because true beauty is inside them or some crap like that!
NEWSFLASH: Nobody wants to see Indiana Jones and Rick O'Connell crying and hugging! Well, okay, you slash girls probably do but your opinion doesn't count . Did you see Air Force One? That was the movie where Harrison Ford kicked Gary Oldman out of a flying airplane. Think about that for a minute: HAN SOLO THREW DRACULA OUT OF A FUCKING AIRPLANE! He was making Sirius Black fall backwards to his death YEARS before Bellatrix LeStrange made it cool and now he's reduced to "Movie of the Week" crap about adorable terminally ill children! Come on, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wasn't THAT bad! (Okay, I actually really liked it...)
Speaking of Gary Oldman, why didn't they skip out on hiring that chick who played Felicity and hire him instead? He could make this work! He could be an ancient terminal illness, like, from the Bible or something, that commands an army of CGI tumor monsters that Indy and O'Connell have to fight. Think about it, Gary Oldman spends that whole Book of Eli movie trying to get his hands on a Bible so you know he'd be into it. Anyway, yeah. And at the end he could get his face melted by an ancient artifact that does chemotherapy or something. Boom! Instant box office cheddar and the only crying and hugging anyone is doing is because the kick-ass tie-in video game doesn't quite fully utilize that badass next generation graphics engine as well as it should.
So yeah. That's the movie I wanna see. Somebody make it happen.
ysathora who has heard me rant about this at length, but...WTF is up with this movie? No, seriously. I want to know whose bright idea it was to put Rick O'Connell and Indiana Jones together in the same movie and have ABOSLUTELY NOTHING AWESOME HAPPEN. Do they fight any mummies? Do they melt any Nazis? Does Jack Ryan go with the guy from Journey to the Center of the Earth to fight terrorists... AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH? NO!!!! It is a movie that, as far as I can tell, involves nothing except them crying and hugging each other, and then comforting some adorable children with cancer who teach them how to love again because true beauty is inside them or some crap like that!
NEWSFLASH: Nobody wants to see Indiana Jones and Rick O'Connell crying and hugging! Well, okay, you slash girls probably do but your opinion doesn't count . Did you see Air Force One? That was the movie where Harrison Ford kicked Gary Oldman out of a flying airplane. Think about that for a minute: HAN SOLO THREW DRACULA OUT OF A FUCKING AIRPLANE! He was making Sirius Black fall backwards to his death YEARS before Bellatrix LeStrange made it cool and now he's reduced to "Movie of the Week" crap about adorable terminally ill children! Come on, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wasn't THAT bad! (Okay, I actually really liked it...)
Speaking of Gary Oldman, why didn't they skip out on hiring that chick who played Felicity and hire him instead? He could make this work! He could be an ancient terminal illness, like, from the Bible or something, that commands an army of CGI tumor monsters that Indy and O'Connell have to fight. Think about it, Gary Oldman spends that whole Book of Eli movie trying to get his hands on a Bible so you know he'd be into it. Anyway, yeah. And at the end he could get his face melted by an ancient artifact that does chemotherapy or something. Boom! Instant box office cheddar and the only crying and hugging anyone is doing is because the kick-ass tie-in video game doesn't quite fully utilize that badass next generation graphics engine as well as it should.
So yeah. That's the movie I wanna see. Somebody make it happen.
