Time has a way of taking time. Lonliness is not only felt by fools.

Finally got a reply to an email I sent to months ago to the guy who was my best friend as a child. Hadn't talked to him in almost a year. He happily announced that he is engaged to a wonderful girl named Melissa. This bothered me because the last time I didn't talk to him for a year I got back in touch and found out he was getting a divorce. Just kinda sucks, knowing you can be best friends with someone and never be able to imagine not sharing everything with them only to one day realize that you're complete strangers. It's like you're not friends anymore, but rather mutual friends of the two people you used to be, talking about those two people you used to know way back when and wondering whatever happened to them. Hell, most of you reading this have never and probably will never meet me in real life and you know more about who I am now than he does. Why are we like this?

Of course, him being engaged kinda got me down about my own sense of lonliness and got me pining for a female companion to share the misadventures of my life with. This was something I had successfully avoided doing for several weeks now. And it even stirred some old melancholy about Lesley as well, as these two topics usually are not found far from one another. I think Morrissey said it best: "we hate it when our friends become successful."

We sure do, Billy. We sure do.

This isn't helped by the fact that my last few attempts to play my guitar have resulted in my fingers just not wanting to work the way I know they're capable of. Don't worry, I don't have Parkinson's Disease or anything like that. My guitar skills just revert back to the mud from which the come if I quit practicing every single day, which by necessity I have done due to theatre rehearsals. I hate making sacrifices and I hate not being good at something I love and being good at all the other things I love doesn't make up for it, damnit! I just have to keep telling myself it's only one more week...