Time has a way of taking time. Lonliness is not only felt by fools.

[uberreiniger]

Finally got a reply to an email I sent to months ago to the guy who was my best friend as a child. Hadn't talked to him in almost a year. He happily announced that he is engaged to a wonderful girl named Melissa. This bothered me because the last time I didn't talk to him for a year I got back in touch and found out he was getting a divorce. Just kinda sucks, knowing you can be best friends with someone and never be able to imagine not sharing everything with them only to one day realize that you're complete strangers. It's like you're not friends anymore, but rather mutual friends of the two people you used to be, talking about those two people you used to know way back when and wondering whatever happened to them. Hell, most of you reading this have never and probably will never meet me in real life and you know more about who I am now than he does. Why are we like this?

Of course, him being engaged kinda got me down about my own sense of lonliness and got me pining for a female companion to share the misadventures of my life with. This was something I had successfully avoided doing for several weeks now. And it even stirred some old melancholy about Lesley as well, as these two topics usually are not found far from one another. I think Morrissey said it best: "we hate it when our friends become successful."

We sure do, Billy. We sure do.

This isn't helped by the fact that my last few attempts to play my guitar have resulted in my fingers just not wanting to work the way I know they're capable of. Don't worry, I don't have Parkinson's Disease or anything like that. My guitar skills just revert back to the mud from which the come if I quit practicing every single day, which by necessity I have done due to theatre rehearsals. I hate making sacrifices and I hate not being good at something I love and being good at all the other things I love doesn't make up for it, damnit! I just have to keep telling myself it's only one more week...

Comments

[etan.livejournal.com]

This isn't helped by the fact that my last few attempts to play my guitar have resulted in my fingers just not wanting to work the way I know they're capable of.

j00 know what we call that around here? guitarded

I know how you feel, man, hope it sharpens up sooner rather than longer.

[buffygirl.livejournal.com]

Tyree.... you are so smert :) lonliness comes in all shapes and sizes. Just think. If you have to be alone who better to be alone with then YOU :) *wink*

[warriorbride.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about the blog thing. How strangers know you better than your 'best friend.'
Technology is weird. I have mixed feelings about it. When I got my first e-mail address in high school and started getting in the chatrooms with my girl friends. It was really fun but, I got bored after awhile. Its not the same as hearing someone, feeling someone, seeing their reactions. I needed people to be tangible. I left the scene after a year but my girlfriends lost control. One flew over to Germany to be with a guy she met on the internet and got messed up. Her sister got totally isolated from people to people contact and I visited her is the psy ward. Another friend was really unhappy with her 'real' life and got caught up in a fantasy internet life. Yeah she ditched her real friends and moved to another state to be with a guy she met online. I did met him. He was a real jerk. What can I say, illusions are decieveing? So moderation is the key. I was always skeptical of technolgy. Metal cannot replace human contact even if its more effient. Although I appreciate meeting people and chating and different view points. If this was to ever get in the way of my personal relationships, I'd toss it out the window in a heartbeat.
Kind went way off on your comment I lost my point...laughs, sorry

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

My best friend and roommate from college moved to Indiana to be with a woman he met on line... and his life promptly went to hell. Then again, another friend of mine met a girl on-line from Iowa and now they're married, live in KC, and are having a marvelous go of it. I guess it all depends on who you're lucky enough to meet. It's so easy to pretend you're something that you're not on the internet I can't believe more people aren't more cautious in the choices they make. Of course, my roommate didn't exactly dive into anything either. It was going on two years when he finally decided to move to her and they had spent quite a bit of time together in person. I guess the moral is that near or far, love is a chancy game to play, but you stand to lose more the more you have to uproot yourself.

[anirishspitfire.livejournal.com]

~Hug~ I know exactly what you mean. Especially with going to college so far from home- try as I might to stay in touch with my close friends over the phone and Internet, it’s still lacking a lot. When I come home I have no idea what’s happened really, who’s gone out with who, where everyone is job wise, who’s taking classes or got a new apartment. It’s really bizarre. And don’t let singledom get you down. No doubt there’s some amazing out there looking for you; it’s only a matter of time. I know little about guitars- except that they’re hard to play. Hang in there!

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

For me, my first few years of college life with my high school friends was so much like it had been in high school that when things started to change, I didn't even notice it until it reached the point where people I once couldn't have imagined going three days without seeing, I was only talking to a few times a year and for only a few minutes at a time. I kind of envy you, having such seperations over with more quickly. I wish I could say it gets better, but it doesn't seem to. As for singledom, I'm trying not to let it beat me, it just gets hard sometimes and I have to vent. I'm sure it will be taken care of one day. I'm just impatient.