Students Against the Treacherous Use of Fur doen't make a very good acronymn

*sigh* Way to stick it to the man all you geniuses down in Florida. I am refering of course to the WTO protest in Miami today. Mind you, I am completely against Lucifer's One-World Government Trade Consortium, but I am against ignorant protestors even more. Why? Because only about five percent of the people who go to these things actually care about making a difference in the world and keeping this country a free place. The other ninety-five percent are invariably just a bunch of dumbass potheads looking for an excuse to party and yell at cops. They _think_ they're educated about the issues when all they've done is seek out left-wing fringe 'zines printed on the copy machine at 7-11 which only tell them what they've decided they already want to hear. They mistake true activism with being anti-everything for its own sake. They think they are drawing attention to their half-understood, ideologically blinded argument when in reallity all they are doing is making their argument look stupid. Who wins all these petty clashes of armored riot cops and over-caffeinated college kids with too much free time on their hands? The WTO, that's who.

Thus ends my political rant for today.

William S. Burroughs, Michael Jackson, and YOU!

My dear friend Goose had a theory about the author and counterculture icon William S. Burroughs. His theory was that Burroughs was put on earth to do certain things and discover that they were, in fact, a bad idea so that no one else would have to do them. He called it the "Uncle Billy Already Did It" theory. For example: "I don't have to inject heroin into my eyeball to know it's a bad idea because Uncle Billy already did it!" or "I don't have to shoot my wife in the head and leave her brain-dead to know it's a bad idea 'cause Uncle Billy already did it."

Friends, Uncle Billy accomplished a great deal in his life, but then he tragically left us. But fear not, for God has not abandoned us! He has sent us a new Uncle Billy in the form of Michael Jackson, and this brave figure seems hellbent to continue doing things no matter how bad an idea they are. Watching his life might be like watching stomach surgery right now, but some day, years from now, just think how we will be able to look back and say "I don't need to _____ a twelve year-old cancer patient in the ___ to know it's a bad idea 'cause Uncle Jacko already did it!" And the world will be a better place.

I guess sometimes you have to go through the darkness in order to see the light.