Red Water (Thanksgiving Mourning)

[uberreiniger]

The actual title of the Type O Neg. song is "Red Water (Christmas Mourning)" but this is more appropriate.

Today was not the Thanksgiving I wanted it to be. It was a Thanksgiving with the shadow of death in the house. One of our three cats is very sick, you see. I don't think she has very long. You may say it's just a cat, but it's not that way for me. Dogs and cats have always been more than just animals to me. I wish I could say why, but they have been. It's hardest on my mother, which in turn makes it harder on me. Just when I left home for college a stray cat showed up and had a litter on our back patio. Me being an only child, it was obvious those cats filled up the void that had been left for my parents. Plus, the mother cat died just a few weeks after having her babies. It was almost like she had given them to us to take care of.

Eight years passed. One of the cats died of lukemia, another was killed by dogs, so now we're down to three. Cali, the only female, is the smallest and the weakest. We think she's developed lukemia too and now she's developed a skin disease we've had other cats die of and that no veterinarian has been able to diagnose or even help. I think it's something that's contagious and lies dormant for years until the immune system weakens, but that's irrelevant. The point is, she's a walking skeleton now. There's practically nothing left but fur and bones. She's dying and today I just finally made everybody talk about it because everyone's been avoiding it. So in the morning lucky me gets to call an animal hospital and make arrangements because my mom can't handle it. And I don't blame her for that. Doesn't mean I'm looking forward to it, though.

I try to tell myself we have eight years to be thankful for with Cali, but it doesn't help. Today's Thanksgiving was sorrowful and subdued. It was just hard to be in the spirit of anything even though I knew we should be, come what may.

We think Cali's momma might be waiting for her. We've all seen glimpses of a strange cat in the house, but when we turn to look there's nothing there.

Comments

:kittie love:

[ksracxe.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor kitties :( I had a couple of cats run away after accidentally getting outside, and we had to put my first cat down because she had a horrible uncurable bladder infection. :( its always sad when pets have to go. My best friend had a cat who had hyper-thyroid, and he had to take pills every day, they did that for two years and finally had to put him down, her other cat lived to be 23 years old, but she was losing her sight and motor skills, so she also had to be put down, and the Maine Coon cat she had got a tumor ...

You just gotta hang in there ...

That is also one of my favorite Type O songs ...

[stitchedsutures.livejournal.com]

poor cats. i will be sad when my Ivy dies.. she was my first cat and i raised her from kittenhood.

My friend Nate had this cat he'd had for over 12 yrs that was blind after a opossum fight out at the Kansas farm. But BJ started starving to death because of a stomach tumor that would have cost over $500 to remove and that's with no gurantees since the cat was rather old. He had to put him down and was very sad, although he did do the cremation thing.

[anirishspitfire.livejournal.com]

I am terribly sorry to hear that. It's truly hard to fully celebrate family when one of the members if passing on in such a state. About this time last year, a painfully similar event effected me. Our two cats, one my brothers animal companion since childhood, the other mine, became gravely ill, and despite the modern day miracles of medical science they could not be saved. They could not eat and drink, and despite best efforts, wasted into fragile, empty forms of fur and pain until they had to be put asleep out of mercy, nearly with in a week of one another it seemed. We quietly called it Red Fern syndrome, after the book Where the Red Fern Grows. Despite my own beliefs and understanding of what happens to animals after they die, even though I knew better, I could not help but be utterly devastated at the time. However, with in a week or so of their passing away, we began to catch glimpses of them waltzing around the house contently. Letting us know that everything was just fine, and now they existed in state of light, having left the pain and suffering of a physical self behind. Every once and awhile when I'm thinking about them, I'll catch a glimpse of a flickering orange tiger-striped tail and know that everything's all right. I suppose the advice that I can offer is this: Love her as you have always love her, tell her how blessed you were to have her as your animal companion, and that you understand it's time for her to go now. And most importantly, she's not leaving forever even though it may feel that way. She's just shifting from one state of being to another, have no fear. You'll see her the next time around.

[yaqui.livejournal.com]

I get pretty attatched to my pets as well. You have my sympathy.

[nolens-volens.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about Cali. I rescued a Siamese cat, Samantha, from an abusive home and had her for over 15 years. All of a sudden, she stopped eating enough and just started wasting away. She became a walking skeleton and was having a hard time keeping her balance. I had to take her to the vet by myself and I held her - and though I know it was time and it was the humane thing to do, it was still the hardest thing . . . and I still cry thinking about it.

And I know that there is nothing that can be said to make you feel any better, but *hug* I know what you're going through.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

We're having a mobile vet come out. She's always been very emotional and sensitive and going to a strange place would just upset her too much. She deserves to at least be in friendly, familiar place when she dies. *hug* Thanks. It's so hard to watch them suffer.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

It is the curse we are born under in this culture, this foolish, uninformed, superstitious belief that death is eternal. It contaminates even those of us who do our best to escape from it. I knew you of all people would understand. I'm sorry you went through what you did, but I'm glad they're still with you. Maybe Cali will stay with us as well. Maybe she'll go with her mother wherever it is they go. Either way, she'll win. We've been loving her a lot, giving her all the comfort and affection we can. She seems to like it and I think she understands what's happening both to us and to her. Still, I'll feel a lot better once the transition is passed.

Re: :kittie love:

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

I know. Calling the vet today and telling them the situation was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. I wasn't even making the appointment, just finding out what it would cost. We found a mobile vet though, so at least she can die at home and comfortable and not in some scary, strange place. This will be the fifth of our cats we've lost in my life and it never gets any easier, as I'm sure you know. Especially when they're in pain. But whether it's eight years or twenty-three like your friend had, every minute of it is special and not to be taken lightly. And yet we do.

"You love someone, there will be grief. The kiss of death, lips of a thief..."

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Thanks, my good man. I appreciate it very much.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

It gets so hard to watch them suffer and be unhappy. We won't be giving her over for cremation, though. She'll stay with us. I guess she'll be buried here even though it wasn't home to her for very long.

[anirishspitfire.livejournal.com]

Ne’er hath there been spake more truer words then that which thou hath proclaimed. Yes, they still visit from time to time, it’s quite reassuring in a lot of ways. I’m sure Cali will come by to say hello every now and then as well. Yes, even with some enlightenment and understanding that there’s a continued existence after death, it’s still a bit rough. ~Hug!~ I wish you the best on it, both Cali and your family are in my prayers, and certainly you as well. And most Native Americans call ‘wherever it is they go’ the ‘Lower World’, an animal heaven of natural wonder thought to be beneath the earth, a place of eternal green and pure waters where animal spirits rest between life times. ~Smile~