Public Service mit Uberreiniger: Candy you should not eat

[uberreiniger]

Today's Candy You Should Not Eat is:

Sweet Tarts Chews

What it looks like: I opened it expecting cute and easily digestible Starburst-like squares. What I got was a pink rubbery lump that looked nothing so much like a very large excised clitoris. Ew.

What it tastes like: Deprieved of the tantalizing, chalky hard candy texture we've come to know and love from Sweet Tarts, the classic Sweet Tarts flavor was revealed for what it truly is: a taste not unlike the aroma that wafts perpetually from the air fresheners found in the urinals of men's public restrooms.

So to sum up, it's a big, chewy pink clit that tastes like urinal mints smell. I put it in my mouth so you don't have to kids, if I found out that my sacrifice was in vain and you have eaten them anyway, I will be very disappointed. Then I will come to your house and hit you with heavy things which are not soft.

Comments

[stitchedsutures.livejournal.com]

so... did you get the super big discs? thats the way i was first introduced to this candy. did you get more flavors than the pink one? (i'm just assuming from the description that that's what you got.. i bet it wasnt the green one) and i agree.. these things are nothing like the original sweet tarts that i loved. rubbery? yes. and they do have this weird taste i tell you... its a horrible trick to play on the consumer i tell you.

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Fortunately I didn't pay any money for it and yes, it was definately pink. I'd remember a big green rubber clit if I'd eaten one.

[anirishspitfire.livejournal.com]

Gah. I had one of those, though I can't remember what 'flavor' it was, except that it tasted distinctly like going to the dentist, ie novacane chemicals. It also made my mouth go slightly numb fittingly as well. Don't they test their products on animals or very stupid people before releasing them to the trusting public masses?