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This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.4
Mind:	6.1
Body:	5.3
Spirit:	7.5
Friends/Family:	5.3
Love:	7
Finance:	6.3
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Yeah, my life is better than yours. Get out of my way! And now, a food survey courtesy of batchix

1. What's your favorite food of all time?
I hate picking favorites at anything, but I'll go with my dad's chicken-fried hamburgers.

2. What's your favorite comfort food?
A McDonald's Quarter Pounder with Cheese, fries, and a Dr. Pepper. If I'm ever depressed or broken-hearted while driving around, it's almost certain I'll pull into a Mickey D's and drown my sorrows thusly.

3. What's the most you've ever spent on a dinner per person?
maybe $20?

4. What's your favorite gourmet food?
I'm a cheese-and-fine-wine-in-the-library-while-wearing-a-smoking-jacket kinda guy.

5. What's your favorite non-alcoholic beverage?
Blue Raspberry Vess. Brings back memories, aye it does.

6. What, if any, foods are you allergic to?
None that I know about.

7. What food do you hate the most?
Raw onion. I cannot physically make myself eat it.

8. Do you eat meat?
Eat the meat, crack the bone, suck out the marrow, wipe my mouth on the curing hide which I then wear as I animistically absorb my prey's SOUL!!!

9. What is the earliest food you remember eating?
I can remember eating Gerber baby food. Don't ask me what kind, though.

10.What's the last thing you ate?
Vegetable lo mein.

11. What's the last thing you ate that made you vomit?
I know I threw up something my mom made several weeks ago, but I can't remember what it was. And it was more stress and anxiety making me vomit than the food.

12. What's your favorite kind of pie?
apple. Ala mode :)

13. What's the last thing you cooked?
Does the can of clam chowder I heated up the other day count? If not, the vegetable stir fry I helped Mel make a few weeks ago.

14.What is the weirdest thing you have eaten?
calamari

15.Have you ever had food poisoning?
Yes. If you're ever at the mall in Manhattan, KS, don't eat the fish at Vista Burger unless you wish to evacuate your bowels frequently and with utmost violence.

16.Favorite cheese?
colby jack

17. How do you like your eggs?
Deviled eggs. Mmm-mm satanic!

18. What cuisine do you crave RIGHT NOW?
I'm full, but I was craving that lo mein.

19. How far have you travelled just to get a certain food?
I've made full-day trips in the past to go to a certain restaurant.

20. If you were to be eaten how would you like to be served?
At a lavish feast where at the climatic moment the host lifts the cover off a serving dish to reveal my head for maximum HORROR!!!

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My day:

Today I discoverd the awesomeness which is Gordman's. It's a clothing store where everything is half-off. Got Mel all set up for her first Midwestern winter at a very low price. Then she went to work and I went to bed. Unfortunately, I was woken up by my parents coming home around 5:30. I got approximately one more hour later on for a total of four non-consecutive hours of sleep. Hooray! I am literally tired of this. All I have wanted to do for the last month is sleep and I never get to. My acid reflux is getting angry on account of it and I'm just generally miserable. Well I am going to sleep today one way or another as I am determined to enjoy our anniversary tomorrow night.

My father, who works for Pepsi, brought home a case of Mountain Dew Pitch Black yesterday and I finally tried some today. It is really darn good and a great change of pace as far as flavors of soda go. For someone like me who has gotten burnt out on regular Mountain Dew, it is just the thing. I cannot wait until they create a follow-up product called Mountain Dew The Chronicles of Riddick.

Oversimplification mit Uberreiniger

Hello. Welcome to Oversimplification mit Uberreiniger where I oversimplify important issues for your reading enjoyment.

1. Karl Rove and I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby are two important guys who work at the White House who are about to be indicted for some crime or something. I really don't understand the full story. It's pretty convuluted with secret agents having their cover blown and even some crazy subplot involving Saddam Hussein travelling to Niger to buy a cake. Anyway, here are my thoughts: the Rove guy can stay. But Libby? Get him the fuck out of there! Why? I'll tell you why, because I don't want some asshole named Scooter having anything to do with running my country. What the fuck? Scooter!? You put a guy named Scooter in charge!? The second highest office in the land is being advised by Scooter? Scooter from fucking Dogpatch? Or was it Mudpatch? I never can remember! I'm almost scared to see his replacement. Who are they gonna replace him with? A guy in overalls and a foam trucker cap named "Zeke"!? A guy with stringy, greasy hair, missing teeth and five days' of stuble growth named "Cledus"!? WHERE ARE BO AND LUKE DUKE WHEN YOU NEED THEM!? GORRAMIT! I thought our government was run by men on the production end of the oil industry, not the gas pumping end! I thought this administration came from Texas not Missi-fucking-ssippi!!!!

          Furthermore, the fact that his is a tragic rise-and-fall story increases the chance that PBS will want to make a sweeping 13-hour miniseries about him called I, Lewis "Scooter" Libby. And they can't do that because his name is, in fact, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby. They would have to call it I, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby which sounds like Aye-Aye, Lewis "Scooter" Libby which will make people think it is a miniseries about sailors. So then you have a complete clusterfuck where millions of people tune in to see an epic about sailors and BOOM! There's Zeke and Cledus pumping gas! America will not stand for this!!!

          2. An article on the cover of Thursday's Wall Street Journal talked about how there's a lawsuit in Michigan (I believe,) about whether or not the word "genocide" should be used in public schools to describe the actions of Turkey against Armenia in 1915. A little background: during World War I, Turkey sided with the Bad Guys (a.k.a. Germany,) and decided that the Christians of Armenia were conspiring against the Muslims of Turkey. So they herded them out, causing countless Armenians to die in the desert of starvation. The lawsuit is brought on by some folks who think the word "genocide" is unfair and want equal representation in the history lessons of "Turkey's side of the story." NEWS FLASH: When you herd millions of people into the desert to starve to death YOU DON'T GET A SIDE OF THE STORY! Your side of the story is: you were evil. Grow up, move on, and become better people! Don't whine about whether or not it makes you look bad. You killed a bunch of people, for crying out loud! How much worse can you possibly look? And as for whether or not it was genocide, here are the facts of life: Fire burns, water is wet, the sky is blue, and when you have a million armed Muslims and a million unarmed Christians (OR vice versa,) living in close proximatey to each other, eventually there WILL be a genocide! I don't like it and you don't like it, but it's the truth! One of these days, Alice, GENOCIDE! Right in the kisser! Besides, we all know Turkey did it as Turkey is named after a food. And countries named after foods are always terrible human rights violaters as anyone who studies China - a nation named for everyone's favorite variety of take-out - can tell you.

This has been Oversimplification mit Uberreiniger. I hope you enjoyed it. Please tune in next time when we will be tackling the difficult and sensitive topic: Uzbekhistan: Where the hell is it at, anyway? Thank you, and good night. For those of you going trick-or-treating this weekend, please drive safely.