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My midnight viewing of "Return of the King" should have been one of the high points of my year. It should have been a spectacular orgy of sight and sound in which I, like the rest of the theatre, laughed and cried, cheered and screamed with genuine emotion all in the course of the same scene. But it wasn't. Do you know why? Because I was looking forward to seeing the movie with _Meghan_, and after not seeing her for a week, I show up to find that in the span of time between when we sat sharing popcorn together and watching "The Missing" and last night, Meghan and the fifth member of her, and my and A&A's little group, Matthew, have started dating!
Anyone who knows me knows that I didn't handle this well at all. I've learned to take rejection reasonably well. What I do not take well is being ambushed in a public place and/or in the company of mutual friends with the revelation that a woman's feelings about me are apparently not what I thought they were. Sadly, this is how I have been treated in more than one situation. It was especially shocking and numbing because Meghan and Matthew have shown absolutely ZERO interest in one another in all of our numerous experiences together. A eunuch and a devout nun could not have had a more platonic relationship. In Adam's words "it surprised ALL of us when it happened. The two of them as much as anybody."
Given my past observational experience in situations like this one, I can deduce exactly what that statement means: They were hanging out together one night, spontaneously fucked, then woke up the next morning and decided that they liked it. It "surprised" them. My ass! That's about as pale and tired a line as "it just happened!" Bullshit! How does something like that "surprise" you? How does it "just happen?" What happened? He tripped and fell and his dick went in her?
No, I had not told Meghan my feelings yet. If that was a screw up then I guess I screwed up. I _thought_ I was doing things the right way. I was getting to know her. I _wanted_ to get to know her before I got into anything with her. I was _enjoying_ just going on silly fun dates to watch movies or whatever. I guess I was completely mistaken by her actions and body language while we were ice skating. I guess the chemistry I was feeling between us the numerous occasions we've been together was just the product of my overly-hopeful imagination and nothing more. Either she didn't know how I felt or she knew and didn't care. I *thought* Matthew knew. He sort of acted like he did, but we never discussed it directly. Since they're my friends, I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm still giving them their Christmas presents because I'd like there to be healing and giving a gift to someone you're mad at and expecting nothing in return is a good way to heal. Jesus even says it: someone steals your coat, offer him your shirt too. And also because in my heart I'd really like to believe this is all just a big misunderstanding rather than some variant on the following scenario:
Him: "But what about Tyree?"
Her: "Who cares? Kiss me again!"
The reason why all this is in the form of speculation is because I could not bring myself to go near her or say one damn word to her last night. I was just too damn mad and too hurt. Hopefully that will change in the days ahead. Honestly, right now I'm still too mad to talk to her, which means I'll probably have to put the B.A. in theatre to good use tomorrow night and do some acting tomorrow night since we're all five supposed to go see "The Last Samurai" and exchange Christmas presents afterward.
*sigh* I'll admit "Return of the King" did help me escape my misery to a degree for its duration. It was amazing, emotional, exciting and just a thousand different variants on the word "beautiful," it really, really was. We got the amusing theatre filled with adolescent fangirls of the various dashing male actors, so there was a LOT cheering and catcalls. And just about every one of them was crying at the end. I haven't seen that many teenage girls cry in a theatre since "Titanic." Interestingly enough, Bernard Hill (the actor who plays King Theodrin,) was also in "Titanic." Curiouser and curiouser.
*double sigh* So, you heard it here first, ladies. Der Uberreiniger is available again. Meghan's loss is your gain. Act now and you'll be glad you did (Seriously. I could really use a sympathy-fuck here...)
Anyone who knows me knows that I didn't handle this well at all. I've learned to take rejection reasonably well. What I do not take well is being ambushed in a public place and/or in the company of mutual friends with the revelation that a woman's feelings about me are apparently not what I thought they were. Sadly, this is how I have been treated in more than one situation. It was especially shocking and numbing because Meghan and Matthew have shown absolutely ZERO interest in one another in all of our numerous experiences together. A eunuch and a devout nun could not have had a more platonic relationship. In Adam's words "it surprised ALL of us when it happened. The two of them as much as anybody."
Given my past observational experience in situations like this one, I can deduce exactly what that statement means: They were hanging out together one night, spontaneously fucked, then woke up the next morning and decided that they liked it. It "surprised" them. My ass! That's about as pale and tired a line as "it just happened!" Bullshit! How does something like that "surprise" you? How does it "just happen?" What happened? He tripped and fell and his dick went in her?
No, I had not told Meghan my feelings yet. If that was a screw up then I guess I screwed up. I _thought_ I was doing things the right way. I was getting to know her. I _wanted_ to get to know her before I got into anything with her. I was _enjoying_ just going on silly fun dates to watch movies or whatever. I guess I was completely mistaken by her actions and body language while we were ice skating. I guess the chemistry I was feeling between us the numerous occasions we've been together was just the product of my overly-hopeful imagination and nothing more. Either she didn't know how I felt or she knew and didn't care. I *thought* Matthew knew. He sort of acted like he did, but we never discussed it directly. Since they're my friends, I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm still giving them their Christmas presents because I'd like there to be healing and giving a gift to someone you're mad at and expecting nothing in return is a good way to heal. Jesus even says it: someone steals your coat, offer him your shirt too. And also because in my heart I'd really like to believe this is all just a big misunderstanding rather than some variant on the following scenario:
Him: "But what about Tyree?"
Her: "Who cares? Kiss me again!"
The reason why all this is in the form of speculation is because I could not bring myself to go near her or say one damn word to her last night. I was just too damn mad and too hurt. Hopefully that will change in the days ahead. Honestly, right now I'm still too mad to talk to her, which means I'll probably have to put the B.A. in theatre to good use tomorrow night and do some acting tomorrow night since we're all five supposed to go see "The Last Samurai" and exchange Christmas presents afterward.
*sigh* I'll admit "Return of the King" did help me escape my misery to a degree for its duration. It was amazing, emotional, exciting and just a thousand different variants on the word "beautiful," it really, really was. We got the amusing theatre filled with adolescent fangirls of the various dashing male actors, so there was a LOT cheering and catcalls. And just about every one of them was crying at the end. I haven't seen that many teenage girls cry in a theatre since "Titanic." Interestingly enough, Bernard Hill (the actor who plays King Theodrin,) was also in "Titanic." Curiouser and curiouser.
*double sigh* So, you heard it here first, ladies. Der Uberreiniger is available again. Meghan's loss is your gain. Act now and you'll be glad you did (Seriously. I could really use a sympathy-fuck here...)
