avalonautumn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
avalonautumn) wrote2025-07-24 02:49 pm
avalonautumn) wrote2025-07-24 02:49 pm
Entry tags:
Follow Up On Migraines & Anxiety
Lots of great news to share!
Mike got a new to him car, and that seems to be going very well. I know that not having wheels was making him very anxious, as it would most people! So I'm super glad for that. Selfishly, he drives me to errands on the regular, and when Cat is too busy or moody, I've come to count on him. Luckily for everyone, that situation has righted itself satisfactorily!
My migraines did come back, as noted before-- but only sporadically. I'll have a day or two of migraines, then a day or two or three without them. It's been going back and forth. But that's been quite easy for me to adapt to thus far. I still have to be careful to stay out of bright light most mornings, but by afternoon, if I'm good, I'm generally good for the rest of the day. I haven't had any more magic shrooms since the last time though. For one thing, finding a supply isn't easy. However, this period without any further doses is testing how well they break the migraine cycle weeks after taking a single half-tripping dose! They did something that lasted longer term as well. And we're at the height of summer, which for the last 3 years has been fucking torture for me. Yet, this summer, I'm actually able to enjoy things a very tiny bit-- and I'll take it, I'll take it!
The FL-41 tinted reader glasses I got for my computer screen have definitely made it so I can write or read on my PC, so that's really helped a lot. I still have some more tinted glasses to buy in time, but at least I know that these particular type of "migraine glasses" actually make a difference -- IF there is enough tint in them. I got a pair of lightly tinted glasses that are only good for dim indoors or outdoors at twilight. I need stronger for anything else, and I want really dark FL-41s for wrap-around sunglasses at some point. Since light is a trigger, getting on top of that was crucial. It won't work every time for every migraine, but for the ones that are on the brink but won't erupt without light help, they're freaking perfect.
I now have hope on the migraine issues, which is huge, because I was starting to get so down about my life again. Now, I'm so grateful for every non-migraine day. I think I might develop an action plan to treat this mother fucking illness and bring myself back to a semblance of where I was before. I was disappearing, and my light doesn't appreciate that shit at all.
In less thrilling, but no less important news, I'm learning that when I'm having digestive problems-- like gas, bloating, pain, gall-bladder issues-- that my anxiety gets tweaked up by several notches. I didn't really notice before which one came first. Like, was stress giving me IBS symptoms? But no, actually, IBS-like problems might be causing (or at least exacerbating) anxiety!
My moods have long been something that I struggle to manage. Yesterday, I went to the dentist for the first time in over two years, and I did it without taking anything and without bringing anyone in with me. As a test, to see where my phobia is at. It was just some x-rays and a manual check-up (costing me $142 with the cash discount!) I only had one moment where I almost started crying-- but I managed to talk myself down before it blew up into a panic attack. I was super anxious, but got through it.
The moment I got home, my entire digestive system told me to FUCK OFF. Cramps, gas, and the works on top of my feeling shaky. I smoked a little to calm down, and a chat with a friend over the phone distracted me and calmed me down more. That was stress-induced digestion melt-down at it's finest.
What I think is interesting is that today, without any stress at all, I felt totally okay until after I ate and my body gave me shit (it was a salad, but it can be hard to tell what will set something off at times.) After I began to feel cramps and bloating, I realized that suddenly I was starting to get really anxious! I've made note a few times over the last month that I can feel fine emotionally, eat something that disagrees with me, and then find myself freaking out a little.
So-- I'm tentatively concluding that all the stress-induced digestive meltdowns over the years have trained the brain in my guts to think that I'm in danger whenever shit (literally) goes wrong! I think my stress trained my digestive track to think all digestive issues are from stress-- even when it's just too much fat or beans or something truly prosaic. It makes a certain amount of sense. This means that if I treat my digestive issue, whether with papaya for cellulose-induced gas, or with Tums or something, that should actually calm me down as well mentally. I think I need to treat my panic attacks in the guts, not just above the neck.
It's worth a shot. I've suffered enough, and I just want relief from endless pain and panic.
Mike got a new to him car, and that seems to be going very well. I know that not having wheels was making him very anxious, as it would most people! So I'm super glad for that. Selfishly, he drives me to errands on the regular, and when Cat is too busy or moody, I've come to count on him. Luckily for everyone, that situation has righted itself satisfactorily!
My migraines did come back, as noted before-- but only sporadically. I'll have a day or two of migraines, then a day or two or three without them. It's been going back and forth. But that's been quite easy for me to adapt to thus far. I still have to be careful to stay out of bright light most mornings, but by afternoon, if I'm good, I'm generally good for the rest of the day. I haven't had any more magic shrooms since the last time though. For one thing, finding a supply isn't easy. However, this period without any further doses is testing how well they break the migraine cycle weeks after taking a single half-tripping dose! They did something that lasted longer term as well. And we're at the height of summer, which for the last 3 years has been fucking torture for me. Yet, this summer, I'm actually able to enjoy things a very tiny bit-- and I'll take it, I'll take it!
The FL-41 tinted reader glasses I got for my computer screen have definitely made it so I can write or read on my PC, so that's really helped a lot. I still have some more tinted glasses to buy in time, but at least I know that these particular type of "migraine glasses" actually make a difference -- IF there is enough tint in them. I got a pair of lightly tinted glasses that are only good for dim indoors or outdoors at twilight. I need stronger for anything else, and I want really dark FL-41s for wrap-around sunglasses at some point. Since light is a trigger, getting on top of that was crucial. It won't work every time for every migraine, but for the ones that are on the brink but won't erupt without light help, they're freaking perfect.
I now have hope on the migraine issues, which is huge, because I was starting to get so down about my life again. Now, I'm so grateful for every non-migraine day. I think I might develop an action plan to treat this mother fucking illness and bring myself back to a semblance of where I was before. I was disappearing, and my light doesn't appreciate that shit at all.
In less thrilling, but no less important news, I'm learning that when I'm having digestive problems-- like gas, bloating, pain, gall-bladder issues-- that my anxiety gets tweaked up by several notches. I didn't really notice before which one came first. Like, was stress giving me IBS symptoms? But no, actually, IBS-like problems might be causing (or at least exacerbating) anxiety!
My moods have long been something that I struggle to manage. Yesterday, I went to the dentist for the first time in over two years, and I did it without taking anything and without bringing anyone in with me. As a test, to see where my phobia is at. It was just some x-rays and a manual check-up (costing me $142 with the cash discount!) I only had one moment where I almost started crying-- but I managed to talk myself down before it blew up into a panic attack. I was super anxious, but got through it.
The moment I got home, my entire digestive system told me to FUCK OFF. Cramps, gas, and the works on top of my feeling shaky. I smoked a little to calm down, and a chat with a friend over the phone distracted me and calmed me down more. That was stress-induced digestion melt-down at it's finest.
What I think is interesting is that today, without any stress at all, I felt totally okay until after I ate and my body gave me shit (it was a salad, but it can be hard to tell what will set something off at times.) After I began to feel cramps and bloating, I realized that suddenly I was starting to get really anxious! I've made note a few times over the last month that I can feel fine emotionally, eat something that disagrees with me, and then find myself freaking out a little.
So-- I'm tentatively concluding that all the stress-induced digestive meltdowns over the years have trained the brain in my guts to think that I'm in danger whenever shit (literally) goes wrong! I think my stress trained my digestive track to think all digestive issues are from stress-- even when it's just too much fat or beans or something truly prosaic. It makes a certain amount of sense. This means that if I treat my digestive issue, whether with papaya for cellulose-induced gas, or with Tums or something, that should actually calm me down as well mentally. I think I need to treat my panic attacks in the guts, not just above the neck.
It's worth a shot. I've suffered enough, and I just want relief from endless pain and panic.