uberreiniger: (Erato)
Sometimes as a writer you get a single sentence stuck in your head and want to build an entire story around that sentence, much like a pearl is formed around a single grain of sand. Did you know Stephen King wrote his novel "The Dark Half" because he couldn't stop thinking the phrase "Firelies in a windstorm?" I wish I could say I've come up with anything half as sublime.

I think it must be time for me to start writing erotica again because I desperately want to do something with the phrase "enjoying a veritable forest of cocks." I wish I had an interesting story for how I came up with that. In fact, I don't have a story for it at all. Of course I suppose the entire story doesn't have to be erotic in nature. There are many places where it could be used.

"September 23rd (24th??): Fourteen days and my sister continues enjoying a veritable forest of cocks. I have not slept since the seventh day. Nor, I fear, shall I ever again."

"Dark times these were for the pious; for on any given night even the most stalwart of seminarians could be found in the salons and in the public bath houses enjoying a veritable forest of cocks..."

"'Something must be done!' the congresswoman cried. 'Even now our teenagers are spending all of their free time on the InterGoogles, enjoying a veritable forest of cocks!'"

And so on. Or I may never use it and it will just go on the shelf with my other ideas. But just in case it doesn't, know that this constitutes a copyright. No poaching my idea. I do not tolerate illegal logging in my veritable  forest of cocks!
uberreiniger: (Huh?)
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I'm sure there have been weirder but I still can't get over the lady who came in my work recently who asked me if I was from Kentucky because she knew someone with my first name from Kentucky. Because yeah, that's totally the way it works.
uberreiniger: (Default)
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I didn't realize I would be celebrating it as such, but I did spend the evening seeing six extreme death metal bands in concert with only about fifty other people in attendance. The bands didn't care and put on an amazing show like they were playing half time at the Super Bowl. The bands were Gornography, Troglodyte, Battlecross, Hate Eternal, and Goatwhore. The I can't remember the name of the sixth band who opened the show but they were from Manhattan, KS apparently and were quite good for what they were.

I tend to only enjoy death metal in small doses, but this was a fun outing. Also, the great thing about death metal shows is I get to see lots of B.C. Rich porn. I took pictures and will try to post them.

Why don't death metal bands play at the Super Bowl anyway? It's a sport about people slamming into each other. Metal makes a lot more sense than Madonna. She should play soccer games or something.
uberreiniger: (draenei paladin)
[Error: unknown template qotd]I'm already in this kind of relationship with my WoW characters. We do all the things that best friends do. We...

-Call each other at all hours of the day and night. ("One more quest/dungeon/battleground.")

-Meet for lunch. (Fishing and farming for ingredients for food that gives buffs, going out to kill things while buffed on said food.)

-Go clothes shopping together. (i.e. Go into dungeons, beat on bosses until they give us their clothes.)

-Agree on politics (Kill the opposing faction.)

-Agree on religion (Heals and resurrections = good.)

And when I have children I'll probably take advantage of them and use them to babysit my kid. And it probably goes without saying that they are very, very good listeners. I get kind of tired of them bumming fifteen bucks off me every month though. But at least with them I know it's coming.

WoW characters: friendships that matter, friendships you can trust.
uberreiniger: (Default)
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Oh boy. This is one is nigh impossible. If anything I have too many answers. But here are the ones I would choose on this day in time, 1/9/2012

Iron Maiden - "The Number of the Beast"
Dimmu Borgir - "Progenies of the Great Apocalypse"
Iced Earth - "Wolf"
Fleetwood Mac - "Rhiannon" (black metal version)
Blind Guardian - "Nightfall"
Shriekback - "Nemesis"
The Sisters of Mercy - "Some Kind of Stranger"
Emilie Autumn - "Shalott"
Overkill - "Elimination"
Florence + The Machine - "No Light, No Light"
Slayer - "Seasons In The Abyss"
HIDDEN BONUS TRACK:
Tori Amos - "Crucify"
uberreiniger: (Building memories)
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I actually can remember being a baby. In my very first memory I just sort of opened my eyes and found myself crawling around on my stomach on the living room floor. According to my mother I never really crawled so much as just scooted around like that.
uberreiniger: (Default)
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A new office chair. My lower back thanks me! And if all goes well I'll be getting myself a present of a new bass guitar in a few days. Here's hoping!

It has been a hell of a few weeks. Freelancing after work hasn't really left me very much time to get on here and read, let alone post. I miss my LJ. I feel like I'm being productive with my life, which is a good thing. But being productive sure doesn't leave time for much else. And even as productive as I am, I always feel like I could be *more* productive.

There has been lots of stress and worry and joy the last few weeks. As the holidays end I recognize that I've got a lot of work ahead of me in the new year. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I just need to figure out how to make sure I have enough time in it all for "me" as well.
uberreiniger: (Wizard hat)
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In terms of "must see" holiday movies that capture the spirit of the holiday and really fire a person up to celebrate Christmas, I have a short list of very familiar titles: The version of A Christmas Carol that stars Alistair Sim, the original A Miracle on 34th Street, It's A Wonderful Life.

However, if you mean "must see" as in "Hey check out this thing over here that's really different and interesting and whether you love it or hate it you'll never forget it" then I recommend watching The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus. It was made by Rankin/Bass, the same people responsible for the old Rudolph holiday specials and it's done in the same stop-motion style. It was made during the 80's when Rankin/Bass were doing things like Thundercats, The Last Unicorn and The Return of the King and that influence really shows. The plot setup is that Santa Claus is nearing the end of his mortal lifespan and a council of immortal beings have convened to decide whether or not he deserves to be granted the gift of immortality. For all intents and purposes it's a high fantasy story masquerading as a Christmas tale and is actually quite dark at times. Not convinced? There's this: Santa Claus fights orcs. I am not kidding.

It is very much a product of the 80's when fantasy movies and shows weren't afraid to just go completely nuts. If you're tired of the same-old same-old in terms of Christmas programs then I would definitely consider it a must-see.
uberreiniger: (Futurama angry dome)
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The person who asked is the one who should pay. I have nothing creative or clever to add to that.

Today got kind of exhausting. The theatre troupe reunited for a pre-season meeting to discuss shows for the coming summer and the logistics of putting them on. Much pizza was consumed. Our absentee member who is study abroad Skyped in and many happy stories of her adventures were shared. We wound up being there the whole afternoon and it was getting dark by the time I headed home.

The evening sucked. Apparently the trash company took our trash barrels after their pickup on Friday. Yes I just now noticed. Not sure why since our bill isn't due for several more days. So I have to add calling them to the list of bullshit I don't want to deal with. Then I thought I'd relax by practicing and wound up breaking a string on my bass! Had to spend money I didn't really want to on the cheapest set of new strings I could find for order online. It will be several days before they get here but fuck all if I'm going to burn the gas to drive all the way to Guitar Center for a new set. More frustratingly, I had just spent the afternoon in the suburb where Guitar Center is. Had this happened earlier I could already have new strings. It's just as well. I've had these strings on there for literally years. Granted several of those years were years in which I didn't play. But they were getting pretty grody. It was time, just wish I could have replaced them at a moment of my own choosing. Hopefully the new strings won't sound like total ass being el cheapo Saturday night specials. I practiced the six string instead. It fulfilled the musical itch but didn't fully satisfy. Like eating steamed vegetables when you love heavy fried food. I think the bass is where my heart is now. Sigh.

After that fiasco it was time to get caught up on Once Upon a Time and American Horror Story, my two new favorite shows. I guess they have to be since they're the only shows I'm watching. They're really good though.

Last night I watched Red State, which you might have heard is Kevin Smith's first attempt at making a horror movie. It's not. What it is is Kevin Smith's first attempt at making a Coehn Brothers movie. At this he succeeds wildly, and not just on account of John Goodman.
uberreiniger: (library)
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I'm kind of strange about this because I love nonfiction in just about every setting except books. You could hook me up a television that only got the Discovery Channel and History Channel and I'd never complain about a lack of programming. I'm the kind of person who will literally sit click the random article button on Wikipedia just to see what comes up. But when it comes to nonfiction books I have a difficult time keeping my patience with them. I'll happy use nonfiction books as reference material but I can't sit and read one from cover to cover. When it comes to books I'm all about fiction. I guess I view the act of picking up a book as my escape time. I'll sponge up any information I can about the real world all day long until it comes to be book reading time. Then I want to go to a fictional world and stay there.
uberreiniger: (Default)
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I am thinking the author of this question is a non-native English speaker since "For how long," while not incorrect, is not how we typically ask people the amount of time they have been doing something. Maybe it's just because I am tired and words look weird to me.

I play guitar and bass guitar. And as my default user pic indicates, I am a big fan of the warlock body style made famous by the B.C. Rich company. I collect them. Or I would if I had money. I currently just have a guitar and a bass, plus my first guitar I got as a teenager which I don't play anymore. I used to have two others but sold them off.

I used to play clarinet and trombone but haven't practiced either one in decades. I don't feel as bad about that as I should
uberreiniger: (glowing skull (icon goddess))
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In keeping with my sense of high gothic melodrama I have always wished that it would be possible for my skull to be preserved and turned into a drinking vessel and bequeathed to someone whom I found worthy. But I suppose there are laws against that sort of thing. I mean, if there weren't everyone would probably do it, right?

So barring that option, cremate me. Keep my ashes, don't scatter them. I enjoy the outdoors, but don't fancy being scattered to the wind. Keep me someplace nice and cozy.

Now with that morbidity out of the way, I want to mention that I am posting from the new house. We are all moved in. Yesterday was one of the most exhausting I've ever had yet I still found the strength to keep going all through it. I am glad that the bulk of the work is done now. Now to get to work generating more income to make sure we can afford it! I'd post more but I have an early shift tomorrow and I've already stayed up far later than I should have. Good weekend to you, whomever is reading this and who has not yet said "Turn his skull into a chalice? That's sick!"
uberreiniger: (Erato)
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Don't try to force yourself to "get over it." That doesn't work. Accept that what happened and how you feel about it is now a part of you and that those feelings are valid. They don't need to be "gotten over" as though they can be amputated or deleted and never thought of again. A thing that is gotten over is healed over; it has found its place and is accepted.

And if that doesn't work...

Turn your beloved into a VAMPIRE so they can reign beside you in decaying centuries with the black gift of eternal life! WE DRINK YOUR BLOOD!



:)
uberreiniger: (Gunslinger)
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Spooky that this would come up given that I'm on a Stephen King kick right now. I just finished re-reading The Drawing of the Three today, in fact.

Stephen King is good at writing very odious human villains, ones who almost became caricatures of villainy at times. They are usually as bad as or worse than the non-human monsters in the stories. A lot of the time, the monsters are only a threat because of the human villain's actions.

The Stephen King villain who made the biggest impression on me during my early teen years when I started reading his books was Randall Flagg and he is to my knowledge unique among King villains in that he is both human and something more at the same time. He's truly frightening because he's so unpredictable. Any scene involving him can go any number of ways.

Although best known for his first appearance in the post-apocalyptic epic The Stand, Flagg has appeared in numerous King novels now. King gets accused of his protagonists being thinly-veiled author avatars because so many of them are authors and/or have substance abuse problems. I think that Flagg is his real author avatar character though just because he so completely crystallizes the chaos, weirdness, and sheer oddball humor that defines King's novels into just one individual.
uberreiniger: (Gunslinger)
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You know, there's so much "expanded universe" crap out there now that I'm not going to read the answers to this question because I know I wouldn't understand a word of it. To illustrate, in the toy department at the store where I work they have these helpful placards above each toy's section showing the brand logo and a popular character from the franchise. Above the Star Wars section do they have Darth Vader? Yoda? R2-D2? Or even a relative newcomer like Darth Maul or General Grievous? No it's... a fucking COWBOY. I am not kidding, the signature character for the current wave of Star Wars toys is some fucking SPACE COWBOY LOOKING THING complete with a cowboy hat, duster, and some kind of futuristic gas mask to let you know that he's, you know, in space. I have no idea what this creature is supposed to be or what it could begin to have to do with Star Wars.

So if I were making a new Star Wars movie I would not try to add tons and tons of new and exciting stuff to the lore and try to make things more epic. Because George Lucas has proven time and time again that this cannot be done. No, I think I'd just tell the story of a few adventurers who learn the importance of Light versus Dark but don't necessarily save the universe.

In college my friends and I played a really riveting game of the old Star Wars RPG by West End games where we played a bunch of gangsters. Or more specifically, I played a gangster and they were a group of fledgling Jedi I was sheltering from the Sith. We all had to find creative ways to actually run the criminal empire and keep the crime boss happy, yet without actually doing anything evil that would draw the Jedi to the Dark Side. I remember one particularly riveting session where one player had to undergo reconstructive surgery and the Dark Side somehow caused the antisthetic to stop working so it could tempt him by offering to make the pain stop.* It was crazy. Sadly, the semester left us forever on a cliffhanger where a Sith apprentice dramatically entered the Jedi dojo and prepared to throw down. THAT is what I would make a movie of. I would like to say it would be The Godfather with Jedi. Although as over-the-top funny as our group could be it would probably be more like Analyze This with Jedi.

*If you're gong "Oh wait but the Dark Side can't do that. The Dark Side doesn't work that way." Well, the last time I checked Star Wars didn't have alien Sergio Leone gas mask cowboys either! Screw you, my idea's just as valid and it makes more sense! *blows raspberry*
uberreiniger: (one evil)
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*sigh* I promised myself I wouldn't do this. Yet here I am. I had just worked a 12 hour overnight shift as I normally did on Monday nights so I was asleep. My supervisor called and woke me up and told me the news.

I've been reading through the answers for this and what astounds me about the answers, (what few there are that aren't in cyrillic, anyway,) is that everyone responding is so young. "I was 8 years old... I was 10 years old... I was in 6th/7th/8th grade." It just... really astounds me. I haven't thought much about all the people for whom this happened just as they were really starting to get an idea of what the world was and what was around them. The closest experience I have like that is the Challenger explosion when I was in the 4th grade. But I can't pretend it was anywhere near the same. I thought I was "young" seeing it happen at 25 but I really had no idea.
uberreiniger: (good/evil)
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I'm sure I've told the story of Travis on here before. I met Travis in the 4th grade and was bullied by him every day of that school year, and then consistently all the way until the 8ht grade when he died in a car accident. That was when I learned I was capable of being glad another person was dead.

I had a lot of bullies, especially in middle school. Mostly they were your classic bully stereotype: big, ugly boy with no friends and a rotten home life. They came and went. But Travis made an impression because he was the most popular boy in our class. Everyone loved him and every time I was harassed by him he had a group of 6-20 followers in tow. Kids who were perfectly nice to me one on one became completely different people toward me when he was around.

I didn't have any significant bullying problems in high school and I'd like to think it's because I turned myself around in a lot of ways, got involved in things, made new friends, and generally gave people reasons to respect me. But I know a lot of it is because Travis wasn't there. It was like some second-rate fantasy novel where the evil overlord dies and all the evil he's done is instantly undone and all his evil minions become good because they were really just mind controlled all along. I'm not kidding. Travis died and a spell was broken. His entire mob suddenly had no interest in harming me without their leader telling them to do it.

I have a lot of anger over Travis to this day and I've discovered it's not actually directed at him; not really. It's directed at all the other kids who were with him. You see, I came from a small town where kids just didn't experience death on a daily basis. Most of us had never had someone we actually knew die before and Travis's death completely shocked our world. Travis was deeply mourned for years to come. He got a dedication in every year book until our class graduated. The ENTIRE TOWN came to his funeral. I saw kids wailing and crying and hugging in the halls for days after his death.

And then there was me. If I felt sad about anything it was that I didn't share their sadness.

I have gone through years of seeing my abuser mourned, and lionized, and wept over. It all blew up last December on Facebook when one member of our class marked the anniversary of Travis's passing and the mourning started all over again. The comments section lit up with people saying how much they loved him and missed him and how he would NEVER EVER BE FORGOTTEN!

I lost it. Everything I'd held back for seventeen years came out. I let them have it for what he did and for what they helped him do. What I got back was a lot of shock and rage. How dare I say that. He was a good kid. He never hurt anybody! Blah, blah, blah. People who stood right there not two feet away from him while he hurt me telling me how he never hurt anybody. I got Bible verses slung at me, I got everything.

But it felt good to finally tell the truth and not pretend anymore.

So my anger all these years hasn't been for him, really. It's been for them. He's dead and no matter where he is, he's sorry for what he did to me. I can't ask for more. But I'd like justice from the survivors. I would like someone who was there to say that he was a bad kid, that he didn't deserve to have all the things he had, that they are sorry and that he was wrong and they were wrong too. That's what I'd like. But last December made it clear that I'm never going to get it.

Travis and his legions of followers shouldn't still bother me like they do. But they do. And I've come to accept that they're something I'll never truly be rid of.
uberreiniger: (Futurama angry dome)
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Which women? The ones having acid thrown on their faces for talking to a man, or even for having been raped by a man? Or do you mean the women undergoing female circumcision as infants in unsanitary conditions using rusty blades and broken glass? No wait, you must mean the ones right here in the good ol' U.S. of A. where a woman can do the same job as a man, get paid the same as a man, dress how she wants, and live her life as she chooses, yet where she still can't go for a walk at night by herself, or sometimes even during the day. Or where a woman can rise to one of the most powerful political offices in the land, yet still have her face erased from a photograph by a backwards, patriarchal religious sect because the sight of her face is "immodest." You must mean those women. Yeah, they're doing good. We're treating 'em alright. No changes needed at this time.
uberreiniger: (Gunslinger)
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I don't know if it's my favorite book but it's definitely my favorite first line in a book.

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."

I foresee this being a popular answer.
uberreiniger: (library)
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Can't imagine it will surprise anyone to hear me say that my children will be hearing The Chronicles of Narnia as soon as they're old enough to understand that British people talk funny and that that's okay. And they'll be hearing Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time and A Wind in the Door as soon as they are old enough to understand what a tesseract or an echthros are.

Wait, does anyone understand what those are?

I'll probably save A Swiftly Tilting Planet and let them read that one on their own if they want to because I think L'Engle jumped the shark on that one. It was most definitely that series' equivalent of The Godfather Part III.

I was a fan of Beverly Cleary's books as a kid and will share those as well. Also, I will share Charlotte's Web and Where the Red Fearn Grows because I think they are two novels that are excellent at helping a child understand and cope with the concept of death. And I feel that's something children need to learn how to cope with on their own terms. I know those books greatly helped me.

Those are just books I liked as a child. There are so many amazing books for young readers out there right now and I look forward to exploring them. Is it weird that I want to have a daughter and hope that she likes goth vampire books?

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