uberreiniger: (Default)

WHAT YOUR APPROACH TO PICKING UP YOUR DOG'S FECAL WASTE SAYS ABOUT YOU AS A PERSON:

LAWFUL GOOD: 
When your dog poops while on a walk, you pick it up. It's the right thing to do and a responsibility of being a dog owner.

NEUTRAL GOOD: You pick up your dog's poop because you'd hate for someone to be upset if they came out and found it on their lawn. However, if your dog defecates in a secluded or out-of-the-way location and there's no one around, you might leave it there since it's not hurting anyone.

CHAOTIC GOOD: Not only is picking up after your dog the right thing to do, it's just common courtesy. However, if there were someone bad in your neighborhood, someone you know has done bad things to other people, you might just look the other way if your dog stops and does its business on that person's lawn.

LAWFUL NEUTRAL: Your attitude toward dog waste reflects that of those around you. If your neighbors are fastidious in cleaning up after their dog, you will adapt to this expectation. But in a less tidy neighborhood you might find yourself not caring as much.

TRUE NEUTRAL: Of course you don't want others to have to clean up after your dog, but you'd rather not do it yourself either if you don't have to. If it's daytime and you think someone might have seen your dog poop, you'll clean it up. But if it's dark out and no one's around, you just keep walking.

CHAOTIC NEUTRAL: You pick up after your dog when you feel like it. If someone sees you leave the poop and calls you out on it, you might apologize and clean up, or you might take off running. Even you don't know until it happens.

LAWFUL EVIL: You're supposed to pick up after your dog, everyone knows that. If you see someone leave their dog's waste, you report them to the authorities because you know they'd do the same to you.

NEUTRAL EVIL: You clean up the poop while walking your dog in order to cultivate the image of a good neighbor and thereby gain your neighbors' trust. The second someone crosses you, however, whether in reality or only in your mind, they're going to find so many deuces in their front yard it will make their head spin.

CHAOTIC EVIL: The dog doesn't care where it poops, so why should you? Somebody doesn't like what the dog did in their yard, that's their problem.
 

 

uberreiniger: (dead music)
How come every single Irish song about love between a man and a woman ends with the woman dying - typically while still a maiden? Do they want us to believe they have some kind of huge problem with that over there? Because their reproductive data indicates otherwise.
uberreiniger: (Black Thirteen)
What if someone placed you in a room and told you you had to keep doing the same thing and you could never leave just to see if you'd believe them?

What if you did and nothing happened? What kind of threat would you be to them? Because if they're doing it to you then they're doing it to someone else in some other place.

I think the Lady of Shalott faked her death. I think she had to.
uberreiniger: (Apple)
Saw a car today with two bumper stickers. One said "Well behaved women rarely make history." The other said "Those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

Does that mean that women who are not well-behaved shouldn't learn about history so they can be sure to make more of it?
uberreiniger: (good/evil)
If Libertarians and Objectivists would forgo explaining their beliefs in favor of the following statement: "I believe in the overwhelming, inescapable power of unrelenting, concentrated evil. I rejoice in cruelty and I celebrate all that is horrific and terrible in human nature" people would probably hate them less.
uberreiniger: (Futurama Greeks)
A chair says a lot about a man. A throne: you did some good things. A beanbag chair: you got high a lot.
uberreiniger: (Wizard hat)
Taken from a post in [livejournal.com profile] christianity

A peasant came running up to a holy man, who was resting under a tree. “The stone! The stone! Give me the precious stone!”

“What stone?” asked the holy man.

“Last night I dreamed that I would find a holy man who would give me a precious stone that would make me rich forever,” replied the peasant.

The holy man rummaged through his bag and pulled out a stone. “He probably meant this one,” he said as he handed it to the peasant. “I found it on a forest path a few days ago. You can certainly have it.”

The man looked at the stone in wonder. It was a diamond, probably the largest diamond in the whole world; he took it and walked away. All night he tossed about in bed, unable to sleep. Next day at the crack of dawn he woke the holy man and said, “Give me the wealth that makes it possible for you to give this diamond away so easily.”
uberreiniger: (lesbians2!)
While out looking for work today I wound up at a stoplight behind an SUV slathered with bumper stickers, including numerous "rainbow" stickers one normally associates with gay rights/acceptance/tolerance, etc. Amidst all these pro-gay declarations was one conspicuously large sticker emblazoned with the legend "I <3 VAGINA." I could see the driver and it was quite clearly a male.

It was just interesting and got me thinking. Like, is that a disclaimer or something? Like he wants to send the message that he is pro-gay while simultaneously making sure no one thinks that he is gay himself? This guy could be lots of fun at gay rights rallies.

"Equal marriage for everyone! Marriage is love! Equal rights and partner benefits for gays! Oh, and by the way, I HEART VAGINA! Just throwing that out there. Don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. I mean, you gentlemen are certainly fine but vagina is where it's at for me. In fact, if there are any straight girls in the crowd here today, please be aware that I am available. Bi girls too! Damn, sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I would discriminate against bi girls. Bi girls are okay! In fact, they're better than okay! Er... not that I would take a bi girl over a straight girl because that would be discrimination too. Damn, I'm screwing this up. Let me start over. My name is Steve and I HEART VAGINA!"
uberreiniger: (Spike)
Amber Benson, who played Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer financed a movie she wrote, produced, and directed with proceeds from the sales of limited edition Tara action figures. And it wasn't "hey, I made a lot of money from those action figures, I think I'll make a movie!" No it was, "I want to make a movie so I'll commission a new action figure and sell them to do it!"

The words "insane" and "genius" come to mind.
uberreiniger: (dear buddha)
Has anybody seen that new Direct TV commercial with Alan Tudyk? Man, I feel bad for the guy. It would be one thing if it were like "Hi! I'm TV's Alan Tudyk here to talk about a great offer from Direct TV!" No, he's cowering on the floor during a bank robbery while his buddy programs his Direct TV from his cell phone. Is there no justice? Nathan Fillion has a new detective show and Summer Glau is the freakin' Terminator while their former co-star is stuck hawking the equipment you'll watch them on. I can't put my finger on it. When Felicia Day sells washing machines (or Cheetos to put in washing machines,) it's cute. But when Alan Tudyk says how neat-o Direct TV is during a bank robbery, it's just sad.

Or not. I'm sure that commercial netted him a lot more money than I make in a given month.
uberreiniger: (Spike)
I think I just saw Felicia Day in a Sears commercial. She was a salesperson selling a lady a washing machine.

Why can't this poor woman get away from laundry equipment?

At least she wasn't in the hardware department selling hammers. Because we all know what the hammer is...
uberreiniger: (heh.)
I give you... a list of real surnames I've heard throughout the years that sound vaguely obscene and disturbing even though they're not...

Hingle
Dworkin
Proctor
Fuqua
Fagerquist
Faggerbakke

I'm sure there's more, but those are the ones that come most immediately to mind. Does anybody else have any uncomfortable surnames they'd like to share?

I think my favorite one has to be Fuqua. It belonged to a pastor I once knew. I'm glad I learned that it was pronounced "FOO-kway" before I called her pastor "Fuck-WAH" which is how it seems like it would be pronounced.
uberreiniger: (good/evil (uberreiniger))
In today's news, Batman was arrested for beating up his mother and sister.

The Barenaked Ladies' Disney-sponsored foray into children's music was aborted by their lead singer being arrested for cocaine possession.

The Dalai Lama's current speaking engagements in the U.S. are being protested by adherents of Dorje Shugden, an allegedly fierce and frightening Buddhist deity. The Shugdenpas accuse the Dalai Lama of showing his trademark kindly face to the Western world while trying to oppress and ostracize their sect among Tibetan Buddhists. Theological squables are inevitable in any religion; that part isn't as sad as what happened outside Radio City Music Hall following the Dalai Lama's speech there. Five hundred audience members who had come to hear the Dalai Lama speak responded to the Shugdenpa protestors by throwing things and spitting at them. The police had to intervene, busing the protestors away from the site for their own safety.

So that's at least five hundred people who apparently didn't take the Dalai Lama's messages to heart.

"Hero" is a word invented by the Greeks to describe a group of legendary figures who performed great acts of courage, the best of whom were rapists, murderers, and alcoholics.

It's something to think about.
uberreiniger: (Blow up doll)
...There are STILL commercials for vacuum cleaners and other such domestic products that show women doing house work in high heels.
uberreiniger: (Bull (base ladytalon))
Dear Fast Food Industry,

I appreciate your erstwhile effort to offer your customers healthier choices in the form of salads. I appreciate the efforts you have take to make these salads appealing and delicious. HOWEVER given all of your vast technological prowess I would THINK you would have it in your power to create a plastic fork that WON'T BREAK WHEN THE SLIGHTEST PRESSURE IS APPLIED TO IT!

Seriously. I'm not trying to chop down a tree with the thing. Is a fork that can withstand the normal wear and tear of forkdom too much to ask?
uberreiniger: (illusion skull (enrania))
First of all, this has been making the rounds on teh internets today, so odds are you've already seen it, but if you haven't, then you owe it to yourself to go check it out:

Katrina: The Gathering

Obviously, it's a lot more fun if you've ever played Magic: The Gathering, but if you haven't hopefully you'll be able to figure enough out to appreciate the humor. And does it make me a bad person that viewing this makes me yearn to play Magic again?

I find the memetic nature (in the Jungian sense,) of LJ friends lists fascinating. Every now and then you'll have a day where all the unrelated people on your friends list are facing the same problem. And I don't mean the generic ones everybody faces, I mean very specific problems. Today, it was rude women drivers in SUV's. Like I told [livejournal.com profile] kansaschica, people love to talk about men using their cars to overcompensate for penile deficiencies, but I seriously believe that penis envy is alive and well and that it exists and thrives in the form of small, rude women who drive their SUV's badly. I'm not kidding. Next time an SUV driver does something rude or downright stupid in traffic, look at them very closely. Odds are it will be a woman. Mind you, I'm not saying women are bad drivers. But I am saying that SUVs seem to attract a certain type of woman to drive them.

Don't read if you have a weak stomach. )
uberreiniger: (sacred chaos (awaiting credit))
That seeing the tops of tall buildings vanish completely into an unbroken ceiling of clouds so low that it looks like you can reach up and touch them is an experience I think everyone should have.
uberreiniger: (can't leave)
Anyone else besides me notice that 9/11 this year came and went almost completely unnoticed? I guess losing a few buildings just doesn't compare with losing an entire city. I'm sure I sound cynical, but I'm not. Just observing. Honestly, given how fickle humans are and how quickly they forget I'm honestly amazed 9/11 was observed with such intensity for as long as it was. On the other hand, it's a bit depressing how time flies as I can still remember everything about that morning back in 2001 very clearly and it still doesn't seem that long ago. 2001 was a year of huge transitions in my life anyway and 9/11 was just a sort of climax in the musical score that drove the point of it all home. Anyway, just a random observation, nothing more.
uberreiniger: (Fire starter (undeadmiko))
Enjoyable and largely correct article by Ben Stein:

http://www.americanprowler.com/util/print.asp?art_id=8693

Do I think George Bush is blameless? Absolutely not. He had an opprotunity to swoop in there, be the hero, and possibly redeem himself a little bit in a lot of peoples' eyes? Did he? No. As we all know, he showed up two days late and just sort of stood there mumbling something about it being "unacceptable." However, this op-ed piece makes a valid point.

This is a situation which has made people feel powerless. Having a Bad Guy to blame for it all makes people feel less powerless. But the ugly truth, chock full of ugly implications for this nation, is that every single city, state, and government official with the ability to fail in this situation, did fail. From the mayor of New Orleans with his failure to coordinate bus evacuations right on up to the Oval Office with their boggarting hurricane-proofing money for the Iraq war. You can set up one man as a straw target all you want to to take the blame for it, but it changes nothing. What we have here is a catastrophic failure of an integrated system of give-a-damns on a massive scale.
uberreiniger: (whore man has failed (courtknee))
You know that sexual and reproductive health education have failed in this country when you're in the drug store, you stop to inspect the rack where the condoms are, and discover that EVERY SINGLE BOX of condoms has a THICK LAYER OF DUST on it.

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