uberreiniger: (Wayfarer)
Robin Williams died yesterday. He committed suicide at the age of 63 following a lifelong battle with depression. The world is stunned. Many don't understand how a man so beloved and with such a revered body of work could make such a choice.

It made me think of the Doctor Who episode "Vincent And The Doctor"
Spoilers... )
uberreiniger: (Default)
I posted a huge entry about my birthday and it disappeared. I posted a pissed off short version and it didn't cross post. So this is the last fucking try.

I turned 37.

My aunt died on the same day.

My wife and my friends threw me a great party in spite of the loss.

I am happy and think my life will be better this year.

Fuck blogging. No one cares anyway.
uberreiniger: (Wayfarer)
I have a lot to be happy for today. I got to spend the day with my wife. We went and saw Brave, which is a wonderful movie, and I successfully replaced the high E string on my guitar. I got some freelance work done and landed another contract.

But it's hard to be happy because several friends have recently lost someone they loved. Today a friend lost someone. In the last few weeks I've seen other friends here on LJ lose people as well. In each case it has been relatively sudden. They had weeks, or maybe days to get ready, which is more than a lot of us get. But it still left them reeling. They're all hurting bad and there isn't anything I can do. I hate that feeling. They know who they are so I won't name names but I just wish there was so much more I could do. What happened to all of you wasn't fair and it wasn't right. If I could I'd make it right for all of you again, somehow.

Naturally today is the day that the guy from the previous post realized I was actually serious in ending the friendship, quit trying to WIN(!) the argument, and got all emotional about it. He's genuinely upset now, I feel bad that I hurt him, and in turn feel angry for feeling bad about it. I am standing firm though, being careful to be honest but not vindictive; carefully avoiding apologies. I shouldn't have to be sorry. I really can't keep making excuses for putting up with his constant posts that go against my morality. Just these past few days not seeing him on my feed constantly has improved my stress level dramatically.

But then I think of the people struggling with loss, who didn't get to properly say goodbye or at least not the goodbye they wanted, and I realize that life is too damn short for this shit and I don't know what to do.

I never got around to blogging about it here but my 17 year-old cat who was very dear to me died two weeks ago. I guess that's still affecting me more than I realized, making me view all this loss in a different light. I know it's just a pet, but 17 years is a long time to have any living thing in your life and even though he was more my parents' cat the last few years than mine I still find myself thinking about him at the oddest times and getting choked up.

I hadn't meant for this to turn into a dreary post but it has. I think it's better if I just stop. Go see Brave. It's a good film for taking your mind off everything horrible in the world, if only for a little while.
uberreiniger: (sausage drip)
Last night I barely slept because I was so congested. My nose hasn't been that bad all day but bedtime rolls around and I can't sleep because I'm so congested. I was off today and am off again tomorrow. Nevertheless I could really use the sleep because I have a lot to do tomorrow including going to a wedding.

Rehearsal today was cancelled on account of the singer being sick as well, though not with the same stuff I have. I wound up sleeping most of the day. Still tired though. Going to try bed again here in a few minutes. Except now I'm hungry. Damn.

Got online to the bad news that Jani Lane, former lead singer of Warrant has died. I saw Warrant opening for Poison back in '91 or so. They were never my favorite hair band but they were fun and they made some good music. It's definitely too soon for him to be gone. So strange.
uberreiniger: (Judgement)
A song that reminds me of a particular event.

The song is Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again."

The memory is pretty dark. Travis was the bully who tormented me day in and day out for four years from 4th grade till 8th grade. He was also the most popular kid in school, which meant he always had an audience of 12-20 people cheering him on when he did so. Even people who treated me like a friend when he wasn't around, they joined in. At the very best, they stood by and did nothing. There are bullies and then there are bullies, and I can't accurately describe him other than to say that he was on his way to becoming a very nasty, manipulative, and possibly very dangerous man.

One morning when I was in 8th grade Travis was in a car accident. He broke his neck and died instantly. I remember the night of the viewing at the funeral home. Everyone from school was weeping, wailing, and crying. I couldn't cry, not then. I just stood over his open casket, looking at him lying there. I could never defeat him, never get away from him, never stop him, and yet now he was dead and I was alive.

As I stood there it was then that I noticed there was music playing softly in the funeral home. The song playing at that moment was the one posted here. It seemed completely inappropriate to the situation. I can only assume it was a song that he liked.

I can't imagine there are many people who have a song they associate with the memory of standing over the dead body of a person they hate. But I do.
uberreiniger: (Warrior)
It's a dark time in the metal world.

First Peter Steele and now this.

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio.

Obituary here.
uberreiniger: (shedding wings)
I was hoping it was a hoax but it looks as if Peter Steele, lead singer of Type O Negative has passed away from the cardiac issues he's dealt with for several years.

Peter Steele 1962-2010

This totally ruins my day. I was just thinking two days ago that it seemed like time for a new album from them. Just yesterday I was having a private laugh at a funny quote I remembered Mr. Steele making many years ago. They were one of my favorite bands and he was one of my favorite singers. I got to see them live on two occasions and I'm grateful for that. But I still can't believe it's over.
uberreiniger: (Metalocalypse Airplane (aikon))
I'd say it's too bad, but he lived to about as ripe an old age as you can and he seemed to live a life with no regrets. He's responsible for everything we take for granted about music today and that's a pretty profound impact to have on the world. I refuse to mourn him but I will definitely celebrate him.
uberreiniger: (one evil comes (uberreiniger))
It's hard for me not to talk about the murder of abortion provider George Tiller. He operated out of the part of Kansas where I grew up. Indeed, it came as quite a surprise to me a few years ago when I started to learn that our local abortion doctor was in fact famous all over the country. I've driven by his clinic, seen the protestors outside. In the late 80's and early 90's he was easily our most talked-about and notorious local celebrity.

I've gone from one extreme to the other about abortion over the years and I've done so more than once. This makes me have to face that all over again. What I've come to is that I can't condone what Dr. Tiller did for a living. It was wrong. I think he profiteered on people who were in misery and despair, and although I'm reluctant to speculate on such things, I think he probably has a lot to answer for in the next world.

But I don't feel good about what happened. His murder just feels like a sad, wretched inevitability that has not made the world a better place. Nobody has "won" and nothing has changed.
uberreiniger: (crap (base enrianna))
Dave Arneson, Dungeons & Dragons' other creator, dies at 61.

Of course they can't even write an obituary for the man without mentioning the word "geek" in it. Oh well, I won't get started. Congratulations to Dave on a life well-lived.
uberreiniger: (eternity (wingedfigment))
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Clicking on the "view other answers" link will give you a good, healthy dose of cynicism. We're all afraid that when we die we'll just cease to exist. I've seen ghosts and other signs of a life beyond and I still fear it. I imagine some people think that by resigning themselves to it, it won't be that scary. I can't do that though, not even if I wanted to. Even if I wanted to, the aforementioned signs of the beyond wouldn't let me.

If you look at the Bible carefully, it strongly implies that we don't reach Heaven until the world ends. The Jews believe that we sleep until then. The Greeks believed the dead could hope for a desolate, half-existence at best. The Egyptians' afterlife was a little better... assuming you could avoid total annihilation on your journey to get there. I think they all were at least partly right, based on what I've seen. Wherever we go, good or bad, I don't think we're in a coma or suffering from amnesia. And once we leave here we're certainly not "gone."
uberreiniger: (crap (base enrianna))
R.I.P. Ricardo Montalban
uberreiniger: (Lost (angelnomoon))
RIP Bettie. I really think you changed the face of our society. I think you were the right person at the right time.
uberreiniger: (Default)
A very nice weekend began with a very tragic and bizarre start. Shortly after I woke up Saturday morning I got a call from my mother to say that the old woman who lived next door to them had fallen down her basement stairs and died. It was very somber news to hear, especially since she was someone I saw almost every day during the two years I lived with my parents. She was a sweet old woman and it was such a painful, lonely way to die.

After that I feel awkward talking about the rest of my weekend but I'll try. )
uberreiniger: (Wayfarer)
RIP Don LaFontaine
uberreiniger: (Lost (angelnomoon))

I'm speechless. Add him to the growing list of people passing away who profoundly influenced my own artistic visions. H.R. Giger gets all the credit for designing the Alien, but it was Winston's queen that really brought one of cinema's greatest monsters to its full potential. And yeah, the original Terminator design? Who didn't think that was the most badass thing when it first rose from a burning heap of scrap metal in the original movie? Nevermind that the above article incorrectly refers to it as an "exoskeleton."

So far in this wave it's been Winston and Tim Russert. Who's number three? 
uberreiniger: (love masks (skellorg))
 Polish Holocaust hero dies at 98.

With 9000 dead from an earthquake in China today and tens of thousands dead in Myanmar - whose government could have saved many of them but didn't - it's important to me to see and remember people like this. When you see just how little it takes for nine or ten thousand people to disappear from the earth it's good to remember who have fought hard to save lives and succeeded.
uberreiniger: (bee sorrow (wingedfigment))
...So we all set out for the Promised Land. Ready Set Go! (That's a joke that only [personal profile] dungeonwriter will get.)

This has, been, by uberreinigerien standards, a very wild weekend. I've actually been meaning to blog about it for a while now but just haven't had a moment's rest to do so.

Today hasn't seen any social activity, although [profile] pinkfaeriestarsand family will be over shortly. Instead I've spent it grocery shopping and washing dishes. If there was a lesson to be learned this weekend it's that being social makes dishes really, really pile up.

On a sadder note, this weekend marks the passing of Charlton Heston; one of the last cinematic giants of his generation. A big, decadent epic film is nothing without an actor who can carry it and Heston's broad shoulders did it time and time again. I admired him as an actor and films like The Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur  are still amazing works of art even to this day. But they would have been nothing without the man who starred in them. Farewell to yet another legend. 


uberreiniger: (Default)

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