uberreiniger: (Ruthless)
[personal profile] uberreiniger
So I'm watching that awesome TV series "Vikings" and there's a battle relatively early in the first season where the titular villain-protagonists are assaulted by a larger Saxon force. The Vikings make the sensible decision to form a shield wall. This is the dialogue I MST3K'd for the leader of the Saxon force:

"Archers! Do that one thing that is useless against a shield wall!"

*Archers shoot arrows at the shields, to no effect.*

"Infantry! Do that other thing that is useless against a shield wall!"

*Archers run right at the shield wall and begin dying.*

"Men who could outflank the shield wall with our superior numbers! Just keep trying to move forward in a straight line! Wait, maybe have one guy run around the shield wall!"

*One guy runs around it; dies.*

"Okay, maybe have another guy try to run around it!"

*Another guy runs around it; dies.*

"Um... New plan! Everyone just sort of die and I will ride home and tell our king the enemy is too strong!"

*Rides away; does just that.*

It's amazing we're not all speaking Futhark right now.

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uberreiniger

July 2015

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