May. 31st, 2014

uberreiniger: (Ow)
As a dear friend was talking about her period woes today, something occurred to me. We have all sorts of euphemisms for performing bodily functions and excusing ourselves to do the same. Everyone knows what is meant if a gentleman states he has to "drop some kids off at the pool" or "go drain the pickle." I realized, however, that women do not seem to enjoy the same plethora of descriptive terms for heading to the bathroom to deal with nature's monthly blessing of womanhood. So my friend and I started to come up with some appropriate terms with which to excuse yourself when heading to the ladies' room to change out your feminine product of choice.

-I'll be right back. Got to go and flush a shipment to Dracula's lair.

-Please excuse me, I've got to go fill the tub for Countess Bathory.

-Be right back! I'm sending this month's baby out in shipments!

-Back in a few! Gotta go strip the paint off the walls of the nursery!

-Time to go and uncork a bottle of pussy shiraz!

-Well, looks like a gotta go and take some blood-and-cotton casserole to the porcelain potluck!

And so on. You're welcome.


uberreiniger: (Default)

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